Orders | Levi Ackerman

46• Traumas

" You called ? " I ask, opening the door to Erwin's office.  He resides behind his desk, his thick eyebrows giving me the only idea of what expression he feels as his face remains empty.

" Yes, please take a seat Miss Solera. " I comply, taking the only seat available in the room.

" In a matter of months, we will be holding an expedition. This expedition will take us to the find whatever lies in Eren Jaegers basement." I roll my eyes, having heard this all before.

" There's still many things we don't know about Eren and his abilities, but we know even less about you. "  my eyes narrow, as I listen intently. He's right, even I know nothing about my abilities. All I know is that i received them from my parents, and I can wipe memory and well, scream.

" Yeah, I know. "

" Mia, in your home - did you have any hidden places where information relevant to your powers could be stored ? " I try to remember, my mind flashing through the vivid memories of my home.

But I can't see or find anything, only the ones of my parents passing. Suddenly I feel a lump in my throat at the thought, I usually refused myself to remember my parents and their death but now.. it's all I can picture.

".. Mia? " I snap out of my thoughts, drawing back to the present.

" Well, I have one idea.. I guess. " I run my hand through my hair, knowing what I could do is very hit or miss.

" Where ? "

" Well, i dont know. " i begin, " but I did spend 7 years of life believing my parents killed themselves. "

This confuses Erwin, as he stares at me rather awkwardly. He goes to say something, but I merely raise my finger - signalizing him that I'm not done.

" But really.. they were killed. I only found this out once Rod triggered my memory. " I look at my palms, remembering that fateful day. " I had wiped my mind of any memory that included the truth of my parents demise because I couldn't deal with it. "

He begins to understand where I'm going with this, an approving smile forming on his lips.

" Perhaps my parents were hiding something, and I muted it from my mind or rather, considering my mother had the same abilitiy, she wiped it. "

" How high is the possibility? "

" High. I don't remember much of my home but the kitchen, perhaps there's more. My parents were incredibly discrete people, it would make sense for them to hide something and not tell anyone. " he eyes me, not sure whether or not to believe my theory.

" Grisha gave Eren a key, mine may of given me a memory."

He huffs, standing up from his seat and moving towards a window, his back towards me.

" How do we retrieve this potential memory? " his voice comes off as stern, rather weary to go through with whatever I'll come up with.

" Well, Rod triggered my memory last time using his own ability, and after I found out some truth, my mind started to unravel other forgotten memories.. "

" I especially remember how emotional I was during this, I was angry and confused - I feel as that may be a factor into triggering it, Even rod said how my abilities is awakened by me being emotional. " Suddenly Erwin turns to me, letting out a defeated sigh.

" That wouldn't make sense, I saw with your.. uh - little situation with Levi not to long ago, you were a mess in better words. If that were true that your emotions trigger your ability, I think something would have already happened."

I try to ignore the burning heat in face from the mention of him seeing my breakdown. He's right, though. Something would of happened.

" Do you have any other ideas? " I shake my head, feeling slightly annoyed.

" i know someone who might though. "

——

" I HAVE AN IDEA !! " I cover my ears, groaning over Hange's exclamation.

" Please share, Hange. " she pulls out a notepad, and I feel slightly concerned over her numerous notes seeing we only told her about the situation minutes ago. How long has she been storing these notes on me? And why?

" Well, In early experiments - scientists have been able to conclude that during traumatic events, people can tend to lose the memory of it. And when something similar to the event occurs, it can bring the memory to the surface."

We both nod, listening to her and her theory.

" Now, we don't know whether this memory exists or not, but - if we can try find something that could of happened during the memory and redo it, perhaps it could cause Mia to remember it. " Erwin and both look at each other, not sure how convinced either of us are.

" uh, basically you remembered your parents death after Rod triggered something similar to it aka the reasoning for why you hate your name, correct ? " I nod, trying to grasp her science.

" The link between both the memories is that you were both at your house, and it had your parents. So, if we're trying to find a secret room, we should trigger something that would be linked to it - like your parents wanting to hide it, maybe you stumbling upon it. "

I'm confused.

" IM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS! " She exclaims, obviously noting Erwin and I's confused looks.

" you want to find a secret room ?! Your parents hid it from you. That makes you sad. It makes you angry. How could they of lied to you! Something so important ! " I squint my eyes at her, finding myself becoming a little defensive.

" Titan sake Mia. Your parents, no matter how much they loved you - they lied to you, your entire life. Now we gotta make you remember, make you remember the pain and trauma they caused. " I look to Erwin and his expression grims, he stand up - walking nearer to Hange.

" I believe what Hange is trying to say - or well, do. " she laughs half heartedly " Emotional torture, it can bring out past memories. Rod did it with you, just in a different manner. He did it by bringing up past memories that relate to your parents death, so you could trigger it yourself. "

" We can do that with you, just without using an ability. " I have a feeling, this is gonna be bad.

" .. and how do you plan on doing this, Commander? "

" Mia, can you tell me the worst moments of your life? " I shake my head, this is getting to much. I don't see why any of this is important anymore, if it's risking my mental state.

I don't want to be sad, when I've been so happy recently. I also don't get why we can't just go look at my house, when we get there.

" Cant we just go to my house after and look? "

They both shake their head, as if what I said was some god awful idea.

" No time, who knows what we'll find in Eren's basement. We can't spend half our available time, looking for a possible nonexistent room. "

I sigh deeply, I hate how right they are.

" So, care to share ? " I try to remember my worst moments, specifically ignoring the incident with Levi. I thought of my parents death, but in all honestly - while it effected my personality a lot, it sure didn't hurt as much as it should of.

" I guess when Levi's old squad passed, I was pissed I couldn't save them. "

" Mia - i mean the worst. " He's not going to get it out of me, and he and Hange are sure as Hell not going to use my mistake with Levi as a way to exploit my power.

" No. " they both groan, but then Hange smiles, a wide mischievous smile.

" Well, if you won't let us use the one with Levi." She saw right through me. " Then, we'll have to create some bad ones. "

" What do you mean ? " Erwin and I both say.

" How do you feel about seeing the people you love the most die in front of you? "

Sorry, Levi - but our little meeting is going to have to wait.