Untouchable

Decided To Break It

Hey guys! I've never really talked about myself on here before, and I'm not really going to do that now, but I just want to update you guys on what is happening with my life.

For those of you who are not from British Columbia, the teachers are in a huge uproar, and have been striking here and there since the beginning of time. But now, they've finally decided to do everything in their power to get what they want.

Unfortunately, most, if not all, is extremely unrealistic, for there is no money in the schools. School was supposed to start on the 2nd of September, but that didn't happen. They are saying no school for the rest of the week. If the teachers continue their strike, we might not be in school till after thanksgiving (late October for any American friends.) Consequenses from this include, school going till four, no winter or spring break, and they might even take away summer break. Which sucks for many reasons, and this is usually when I get the bulk of my writing done.  I don't think anything will be resolved for a long time. This past school year we weren't allowed help from the teachers, and they weren't allowed in the schools before and after schooling hours.

The teachers are asking for a few ridiculous things within everything else, but what I want fixed the most is class composition, which is number of students per teacher, and number of teachers for every kid who has special needs, learning disability, or is esl. Unfortunately that is so unrealistic to fix, because they would need to build hundreds of new schools, and hire thousands of teachers. There's just no money for that.

So, I don't really know how this is going to affect my schooling, and my schedule and what not. But I am very mad about this as I am in highschool and this is affecting my future greatly. If the teachers strike continues, I'm not sure what I will be doing during that time. I don't know if I'll have more time to write, or less, to attempt to catch up on the things I am missing.

As you can tell and I hope you understand, this makes me very angry and frustrated. I'm so sorry if that comes across in my writing, which I know it is. I'm so sorry, but I like to to put things in my stories from my own real life just to make my words come to life across your screen. Unfortunately, that is effecting this story in a negative way instead of positively, so I'll smarten up and fix that.

I don't really have an answer for you guys, but I'm just letting you know, that updates for this story may get very sporadic. I'm sorry :/ AND I'm double sorry for the super short chapter.

___________________

I'm the bad seed

I passed by Jordon on my way home from school again.

His eyes stayed on me, but his lips remained silent. I kept my eyes low. After another tedious day at school, I didn't have the energy to deal with anything else. But my curiosity about this mysterious boy shrouded in a cloud of cigarette smoke was eating away at me. I thought about finally bringing up my courage and confronting him for the many stares. But what would be the point? I highly doubted he would respond. He'd probably walk away. But I needed to know why he had such an interest on me.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around.

"Jordon."

His eyes were on me, waiting expectantly. He took a drag from his cigarette, blowing the toxic fumes out ever so gracefully. Shit what was I doing.

Never left behind on the break down

"Why do you always do that?" He stayed silent. Shit what a stupid question. "You always look at me. Why? Is there something wrong with me? Yes I know who my parents are. Everything cleared up?"

Woah. Where the shit did that come from? Never had I ever said such things to someone I had never talked to before. Sure, I was a bitch to the Barbies, but that was only because they deserved it. Only because they egged me on. Jordon did nothing. Where did all that ferocity come from?

"You're an interesting girl aren't you," the words escaped his mouth like honey. It was neither a question nor statement. More like a voiced thought. Something that would only come to your mind at midnight.

My mind reeled. What did he say? Never in a million years would I have ever thought those words would come out of Jordon Zanrik, and have them directed towards me.

His classic smirk appeared on his face, highlighting his dimples. "See ya around sparkles."

Sparkles? I'm sure I looked like a deer in headlights, and I think he saw my utter surprise -- I was doing nothing to hide it.

"Would you prefer pretty eyes?" his smirk grew. I stood dumbfounded. "Thought so. Sparkles just sounds better. You shouldn't let the others take that away from your eyes."

He stomped his cigarette out, turned, and walked away before I could even process what happened.

A thousand promises that never seemed to help me before

I found myself on the balls of my feet, leaning towards him. I almost felt a sense of emptiness as he walked away, like I was yearning for him. Was I craving him like he craved his cigarettes? Was he craving me? I shook my head fiercely, clearing my head.

Come on Taylor. Snap out of it, he's just playing.

But, lord in the sky, what if he wasn't playing around. Could he have, feelings for me?

God damn Taylor. No! He just wants to get with you -- just like the dozens of other girls he's messed with, only to get into their pants. But my god how could someone be so desperate to get with me?

There had to be something more if he was thinking of getting with me. I mean, if people found out, his social status would lower dramatically -- it might even shatter. There was no way he of all people would risk it.

With that abrogating thought, I turned and heading back home.

_____________

All the broken hearts that hang around here

I sat in my bed that night completely disgruntled. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore the stupid feelings -- these god awful butterflies in my stomach. Why would Jordon talk to me? He was the first one to talk to me in a long time who didn't use a menacing tone. What was his deal? Maybe he wasn't smoking just a cigarette. Perhaps it was some hallucinogenic drug and he thought I was someone else.

But this wasn't the first time I had caught him looking at me. Oh, no. There had been many times where I caught his glance. A whisper of a head turn, a glimmer from his eye.

I looked at my scarred arm. Maybe . . . things would get better. My eyes glanced in the mirror. Maybe there was such thing as hope. Perhaps there was a future for me.

The tiniest of smiles sprouted on my face. I'd show them. The Barbies, the bullies. Fuck it, my dad. I'd show them how the ugly girl gets the hot guy. The girl that no one likes gets the most beautiful respected boy. I'd show them what I really deserve. Love. I deserved love more than anyone I knew. I'd show them. I will be respected. I will be wanted. I'll show everyone what a good thing they could've had.

And that's when I decided to break it