overdose | kth✓

-one-

I was a chubby person. I was bullied often. Did it bother me? It did, sometimes, but then I got used to it. So, I guess it was fine. It was ordinary for me to be bullied. But, they still tore me down, and eventually I went into depression. I can still honestly say I'm in that state right now. And I am, for sure.

I'm 16. A Junior, soon to be a Senior. I had a crush on this guy. But I knew he would never like me back. Because I was too fat. How could anyone ever like this fat girl with too much meat? I also don't really have any friends. They all left me a long time ago. So, I've basically been a loner since then. I'm not really open to other people. I tend to keep things to myself.

My name is Jung Y/N. My life is such a big mess and I wish I didn't have it anymore. I'm suicidal, if you wanna say that. I just hate everything about it. It's horrible. Just horrible.

About the guy, well, he's a year older than me. He's beautifully, handsome. He has blackish brownish hair, but he dyes it sometimes. He has such a good heart, he's perfect. But the thing is, he's a player. And I'm in love with a player, a player with a good heart. Is there such thing?

Yeah, instead of the word 'like' let's change it to 'love.'

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As I enter the school building, I hear the word that they say daily, "Wassup Fattie! You gonna eat 12 hamburgers today? Or more?" I rolled my eyes and starting laughing along with them, for some reason, I felt like coming back at them, "Probably more! Just so I have enough to crush your dumbass!" I said, and smirked at them. They slowly started walking away, That's what I fucking thought, bitches.

I went to my first class, Math. Right away Math comes. Did I ever like this subject? - No, I would struggle a lot. And sometimes usually I would just try and answer the questions the best I can. No need of asking help. I didn't like our math teacher, I thought he was always a creep. His name real name is: Ka Hyun Seok, But we just call him, Mr. Ka since he's a teacher and we have to use manners.

I honestly can't really ask for any help. Honestly, my parents before they died, called me a sick person. I couldn't have agreed more. I'm just a useless, fat person.

You know, I find it funny sometimes. Why? Well, because all of this is true. Some day in the future I could just literally go insane. It's literally breaking me. No, everything is breaking me. It feels like if I were in a room and the room was just getting smaller and smaller by the day. I could just scream and feel better for a little while. Just a little while. I could use rest. I wouldn't get good rest, and I needed it to be honest. I haven't slept good in forever. I would usually just sleep for 2-4 hours a day. Why is life so hard? Why was I chosen to lead this life? I ask myself these questions everyday I wake up.

Life is a depressing place.

I just wish I wasn't here anymore.

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