LIVING: From Teenagers Perspectives

Friend And Friends

I can tell you how it all starts, how it goes, but I will never be able to say how all this is going to end.

My name is Ebane Leine and I had two best friends who meant the world to me.

I was never a little girl like every other. I was so insecure about myself, I ended up bullying another.

On the school playground, one faithful afternoon, Eseka Nicaise, little miss perfect of Crown's Elementary who had worn the same T-shirt as me that day, accidentally spilled her juice box all over mine. I was two steps away from dragging her inside the mud puddle by which we stood but we were both rescued. Disiombi Evan, he was a grade higher than both of us. He stopped me from fighting Nicki by offering me his jacket to cover up the mess on my shirt. Thereafter we shared our lunches all together and became an inseparable trio of best friends. I was only eight but I knew I loved them both so much and wanted them both in my life forever.

We were the best of friends. We did everything together, so much so that people thought it was too weird. It got worse in our secondary school days. Rumours of us holding thr**some in private, belonging to a cult, circulated from school to our homes. But our families were already very aware of the kind of friendship we had, that the bond was unbreakable. People had to get used to our circle. Life was just amazing how we hung out together, talk about everything and anything, important and not so important, didactic and sometimes naughty issues; we talked endlessly about anything as long as it suited everyone. That way no one was left out.

My world of a happy life and perfect friendship started to crumble on a tense evening of June 2nd. The GCE results that had been released the previous year started the strain in our relationship. Nicki and I had written the Ordinary Levels in arts. I failed. She had consoled me all the way through while waiting for her results. She made it. I was happy for her but also a little jealous. Things were starting to change.

The following academic year was a wreck. We were all in the same school but separate classes. Evan and Nicki were preparing to write their Advance Level's. Nicki was writing early. She was that bright. I on the other hand was struggling to rewrite my O'levels. We still hung out together but mostly for studies. Evan will tutor Nicki, she will tutor me in turn and I will say something stupid. Then we'll all laugh it out and repeat the process. When the results were released that year, Evan and Nicki made it.

I was in my house when my sister - Sonny- brought the news of my results. I was so excited to tell my two best friends. I ditched whatever I was doing I headed straight for the first person I wanted to know about my results, Evan. His house was like my house so I needed no permission to head straight for his room. When I got there, what I saw shocked me harder than a thousand watt of electricity.

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I caught my two best friends, one of who I was in love with (and before you go assuming; I'm not lesbian.) having sex. I got mad, jealous, envious; everything a good friend shouldn't feel for the others.

I cut all link or connection I had with my best f- ex best friends. The following academic year, they both went off to college. Nicki and I never even said hello or hi to each other again. Evan always tried to reach out but I just  shut him out every time. As long as they were still together and I couldn't get over my crush on Evan, I couldn't stay friends with them and pretend we were all OK when inside, I wish I could just impale them both.

I focused on my studies instead and did what Nicki had done. Wrote my Advance Levels early and made it even though my results weren't as good as theirs.

A few weeks after my results were released, I was in my room scrolling through IG when I came across a post, it was from Evan's profile. It was a picture of both him and Nicki's hand, interlaced together and on Nicki's ring finger was a diamond engagement ring. It was captioned 'she said yes', and hash-tagged  '#togetherforever'.

I died and resurrected on the spot. I watch my heart and soul fall into a million pieces which then subdivided itself into a thousand more pieces. It was only then that I realised, what I had been feeling for Evan wasn't just a crush but love. I had gotten used to him protecting us, defending us, loving us, making us laugh that I had fallen in love with him without even knowing.

Every time Nicki would ask me about the kind of man I liked, out of no where, I'd always say a man like Evan when I meant Evan, not someone like him but him.

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Even though they weren't about getting married immediately, I mean we were all still young, the thought and feeling was slowly killing me.

I tried drowning my sorrow, my pain in liquor but every time I'd sober up, it will just hurt all over again like it was the first time. My family noticed how much of a wreck I had become. My dad wanted to send me to Switzerland to my aunt but I ran away from home. I started living Marlon; a guy I met during my first month in the university. He was a rich brat/Yahoo boy who enjoyed spending his money carelessly on pretty girls as long as you could offer him pleasure. With me it was different, I just had to introduce him to some desperate girls who long for just a few minutes with him in his bed. He introduced to his gang of friends and they introduced me to Mr. Cocaine. He became my best friend.

Within the space of three months, I had completely forgotten about Evan and Nicki and their stupid engagement which was still in planning, I wasn't a complete drop out but school was no longer my space. I only went to school when I needed the friendly distraction it provided. A few times I ran into my ex-besties on campus but they were now as good as strangers to me. I pretended I didn't care, that it didn't hurt or anything but deep inside, I was dying.

I still took my regular dose of alcohol and cocaine. I now had my own apartment. I started helping Marlon in his yahoo business and in return I got my money.

Who needs family or friends!!!.

On one very faithful day, in school, I started feeling very dizzy. The last thing I remember was clinging onto Marlon's shirt for balance. I woke up in a hospital an unhealthy number of tubes attached to various parts of my body. My mom was there and looked like a zombie. She had been crying a lot.

To cut a lot of bullshit short. An excess of alcohol and drugs had messed up my entire system. I was dying. I never saw any of the people who had introduced me to this life that ruined me.

Evan visited me a lot. Apparently, he already knew of my feelings for him a long time ago but didn't feel same. He wanted us to still stay friends so they kept their relationship a secret. Nicki on the other hand hadn't yet come to the agreement that I was going to die. She just couldn't face me. I heard she blamed herself for my predicament. But I know it was all me.

Did I say I had no idea how this story of mine ends? I lied, I know exactly how it ends; I die and everyone and everything else continues.

Bottom line, friendship! It is the most complex relationship in this world especially in intergender circles. But a true circle can handle all its complexities. I couldn't! but I am hoping you can.

By: Lynzianntells