Girl Trouble - JENLISA (completed)

Chapter 9: Exclusive

LISA

This  trip with Jennie is one of the best I've ever gone to. It's not just  the place itself but her presence altogether. I loved ever second I've  spent with her here and I couldn't be more sure I want to date her. It's  true, I don't really have an experience dating women but I don't think  that should keep me from pursuing my feelings for her. If anything, It  makes me even want her more.

She  neither has an experience towards the fairer sex and with that, we can  both experience new things together. New things that we haven't really  thought or came to mind until now. The short period of time I've come to  know her didn't matter. I have this strong attraction for her to a  point I can't even explain it myself.

I've  been trying to make sense out of it, trying to find the right words to  describe how I feel but I've only come up with one word and that is  happy. She brought the missing color in my life. I never really expected  that to be honest. Jennie and I are a lot different in a lot of ways  but didn't they say opposites attract? I finally understood that now.

I  always dated people I had a lot in common. Same career, same  wave-length, same outgoing personality, same goals but never the same  sex. Truth be told, I've never imagined it in my wildest dreams nor have  I been curious about it, not until I met Jennie. She turned the tables  for me but I can't say I don't like men anymore because I think I still  do, I mean how do you really like a specific gender anyway? Don't you  just like who you like and love who you love?

Jennie  and I are heading back to Seoul today. However, us being together does  not stop here. We planned to cook together today when we arrive back  home and for the first time, it was the first time I've actually seen  her excited about cooking. Well, at least the last time was such a mess.  She wanted to give up in every failed dish she tried to make.

She  was too cute but I also see a lot of myself in her. I was once like  Jennie when I moved in Seoul. I didn't know how to do shit but I learned  gradually. God knows how many times I cried at night rethinking my  decisions of coming here. Thinking it was a mistake, and somehow, that  might be true. I had a good life back home. My parents are great, my  friends are amazing, the house I live in provided comfort and I didn't  have to do things on my own but my ambition got in my head.

I  wanted to be something big. I want to be recognized and I want people  to look up to me. I wanted that superstar life and go after fame, But  that did not happen and it never will.  The day I was rejected by the  company's ceo itself was the day I've given up on that dream but that  didn't mean I didn't love dancing anymore, I still do. I love it a lot.  If a scout finds me one day, I wont even look back and sign right away  but it's just that, I am not hoping for that anymore. If it comes, then  it will.

It  felt such a punishment I ended up working for him still in spite of  that hard rejection, but I didn't have a choice. I don't want my parents  to think I failed at something when I came here. I didn't want them to  feel sorry for me and just come back home with a heavy heart. No, I'd  rather stay here and live on my own as much as I can. I became a  videographer and it's something I also liked doing as much as taking  pictures. It's just that the man who gave me that opportunity is also  the one that killed my dream.

Somehow,  maybe Jennie and I are running away from the same thing. Even though my  family didn't take control of my life, with them I felt fragile, jaded  and limited. I was always thankful though because they love me too much  but If I stayed in Thailand, I felt I wouldn't reach my full potential.

My  parents would prefer if I lived in the same house with them. My family  is also wealthy back in Thailand. Maybe richer than Jennie's family in  general but no one knows that here. In addition, that is something I'll  always be thankful towards my parents. Although it wasn't in their plan  to let me come here, They did their best to make sure I have a private  life here after my failed attempt to be famous. It was even a miracle  they let me live my own life here. No one knows who I am here. Though, I  told Jennie my parents are world class chefs but that's it. I'll have  to tell her about that part of my life later though.