Me: *raises hand* may I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: why
Me: to open the chamber of secrets!
Teacher: then no
Me: *mumbles* fine.....I'll just bleed all over your chair then....
Teacher: NEVERMIND! GO AHEAD! TO THE BATHROOM YOU GO! *embarrassed*
Ex friend: ewwww! Are you lesbian?! Whatever, you and your homosexual friends will see the truth of how wrong it is soon!
Me: actually.....it's completely natural....over 1500 species in the world have homosexuality.....homophobia exists in one....guess which one....
Ex friend: raccoons of course! Why don't you talk to me anymore?
Me: I'm sorry, what did you say? I don't speak stupid.
Nightmare (in a book): can't come up with an insult can you Ink?
Me: goopy black hentai rapey octopus motherfucking wannabe bad sadist.
