Like before, I take a seat in his office and wait for him to walk in. Finally about three minutes later he does.
"Miss Matthews." He says and I nod as he takes a seat and pulls out the lab results.
"Is she okay?" I ask
"Your daughter has acute liver failure."
"What? No." I say and he nods sadly.
"It can cause serious complications, including excessive bleeding and increasing pressure in the brain. It's a medical emergency that requires hospitalization." He adds and I rub my arms.
"Okay, what does this mean though?"
"Until we can fully justify the cause, we are not sure yet."
"Well what could be the cause?"
"There are many options, from a family history to taking too many over counter pills or even prescriptions. Toxins are another option, but the one we are closing in on is Autoimmune disease which is when your immune system basically turns on you and attacks your liver cells."
"Wh- what happens if that is the cause?"
"It can sometimes be reversed with treatment, however in many situations, though, a liver transplant may be the only cure."
"A liver transplant?" I whisper and he nods
"She is 8 years old. This should not be happening to her." I say
"I'm sorry Miss Matthews, I know this is not what you were hoping to hear. However, the stage your daughter is at with this disease, needs immediate treatment and an immediate transplant. Or-
"Or what?" I ask and he looks over at me sadly.
"She may only have another month." He says and just like that my world comes crashing down. He continues speaking to me but I cannot hear him; I don't want to listen even if I could. I'm numb, totally and completely numb. She's only a child, this isn't fair. My baby, no. My heart aches in my chest, everything sounding far off in the distance before I force myself to turn my attention to him again.
"What- what can I do?"
"You are on the transplant waitlist, however, there is no say there will be one. The other option is a living donor."
"A living donor? Theodore she is 8. I know what goes into a living donor and there is nobody that will meet those requirements of the same blood type, the same age, the same health, the- just everything. There is no way." I sob out.
"Olivia, we are doing everything we can. The hospital is aware of your situation of your daughter's situation, and believe me when I say we are all trying to figure something out." He whispers
"There are too many people who are in need of a liver transplant or donor in this world and already way too many people dying every day waiting for a transplant. What's to say that won't be my daughter?" I whisper
"Hope and miracles." He whispers back and I wipe my eyes.
"Right." I say
I gave up on those a long time ago...
"I am so sorry Olivia." He says and I wave my hand and stand up.
"I need to get home to my daughter." I say then leave the office. I pull my coat around me as I walk outside, unsure of what to even do anymore.
~~~
I walk into the house, still numb and torn. My heart aches, my mind spins, I don't know what to do.
"Mommy!" I look up as Josie runs into the room and I force a smile squatting down to her level.
"Hi baby." I say then hear two more sets of footsteps.
"Ethan hey. Thank you." I say and he nods as I smile over at Alex.
"How'd the visit go?" Alex asks and I look down at Josie.
"Um yeah, good." I say, already knowing he can hear my lie.
"Uh Josie let's go upstairs. You can show me your doll collection?" Ethan asks and she smiles then pulls him up the stairs with her.
"Olivia?" Alex asks as I sit down on a barstool.
"She has acute- acute liver failure." I whisper then the dam breaks and my tears fall.
"Oh Livi." He says pulling me against him as I continue to cry.
"They say she needs a transplant. The list is decades long and it will be impossible to find a living donor that meets the requirements. Why is this happening to her, she doesn't deserve this. She's only 8." I sob as he continues to hold me.
"Why could it have not been me?"
"What? Olivia no, don't ever say that again."
"Why not? Josie wouldn't be suffering, she wouldn't be d- dying." I sob
"But then she wouldn't have a mother." He says
"I'm a terrible mother anyways."
"Olivia stop it right now." He says forcing me to look up at him.
"You are a phenomenal mother Olivia, I know- God I know it's been hard since you lost Shane but you are doing amazing. Josie is an incredible little girl and she has an amazing mommy. Don't ever doubt yourself, you've come way too far. That little girl, my niece, loves you more then anything in the whole world." He says and I nod forcing my tears away.
"You will figure this out and I will always be by your side. Everyone will be." He says and I nod again.
"Just breathe okay?" He asks and I nod.
"Thank you Alex." I whisper and he smiles kissing my head then standing up.
"Now, let's go see what your wild child is up to." He says and I laugh standing up and following him up the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
