"Baby girl." I whisper pushing hair out of her face as she tilts her head to look at everyone in the small hospital room. I shift and look at everyone too, seeing the tears in everyone's eyes.
They know what I know, she just couldn't be saved...
I look over at Ethan and he slowly moves away from the wall and walks over to me and Josephine.
"Ethan?" She questions
"Yes beautiful?" He asks kneeling beside us.
"Will you talk to me in heaven too, like mommy?"
"Of course I will Josie. We all will." He says and everyone nods.
"Everyone?" She asks
"Every single day." My brother says walking over and taking her hand in his. I smile as my mom and dad walk over too and settle around Josie and her hospital bed.
"I'll always talk back." She whispers and I nod as she reaches out for Ethan and I look over at him. He leans down toward her and I smile as she whispers something into his ear. He slowly looks over at me then back to Josie.
"Yes." Is all he says and a giant smile lights up her face. I look over at him but he doesn't look like he wants to say anything just yet.
"I love you." Josie says to everyone and we all give her a big group hug then slowly back up. The door slowly opens and I look over as the nurses walk in.
No it can't be this soon! I'm not ready!
"It's time Josie." The nurse says and everything in me freaks out.
No! There's got to be another way, they need to save my child! She's okay! She'll be okay!
The nurses move toward Josie and I instantly block her with my body.
"Miss Matthews?" She asks
"No." I whisper
"Olivia?" My mother whispers and I look over at my baby girl, my beautiful baby girl.
"I can't lose her." I whisper, but know deep down that not only have I already agreed, but this is what is best.
"We can give you no more time." The nurse says gently and I look over at Josie. She nods at me, and my heart aches as I slowly step away from the bed but turn to face her.
"I am so sorry it has to be this way." The nurse whispers but I don't want to hear her, I don't want to focus on her, or anyone else, except my baby. My baby. The nurses walk over with the syringe and tears fall down my cheeks as Josie nods the nurses on. She won't go down without being strong.
"You ready Josie?" The nurse asks and her beautiful blue eyes meet mine.
"I want to say goodbye to my mommy." She whispers and I sob making my way to her side. I take her hand in mine and we look at each other, speaking so many words just through our gaze.
"Don't leave me, okay?" She whispers and I nod.
"I will never leave you." I say then she lays back down and shuts her eyes. The nurse looks over at me and I slowly nod. She inserts the syringe into Josie's skin and sobs rack my body as her heart monitor slowly starts to grow in speed as her grip on me tightens then loosens. I look over, tears streaming from my eyes. I'm hoping that this isn't real, that this is just a nightmare, that I'll wake up and my beautiful baby girl will be staring down at me, healthy and alive. That all of our memories continue to be made, all of our days continue on like they usually do, and that all of this pain just fades away.
But I know that that's just not reality as I stare at her pale face, and watch her slowly fade. And when that heart monitor races then goes silent, my heart cries out and my knees give from beneath me, as my baby girl flatlines.
~~~~~~~~~~
