We all clap as Josie gently throws out the reindeer food for Santa's reindeer just before I pick her back up.
"The reindeer are going to be very happy tonight." I say as we all walk back inside.
"Yay." She says and I smile sitting her back down in bed.
"You want to decorate Santa's cookies baby?" I ask and she nods as my mom walks in the tray of sugar cookies. I set up the cookies for her, then get all the frosting and sprinkles out and ready. I hand them over to her and she starts to decorate the cookies as a nurse walks in.
"Miss Matthews, if I could talk to you outside please."
"Yeah of course. I'll be right back." I say and Ethan nods as I follow her outside.
"Please tell me you've got some good news for me." I say shutting the door behind me.
"I'm sorry but no, we haven't heard anything." She says and I nod rubbing my arms.
"Even if you had though, she's too weak, isn't she?"
"Yes, that's actually what I needed to talk to you about. We've been keeping an eye on her vials during tonight's events and they've been slipping."
"She looks better today then she has the past few days though." I say and the nurse nods.
"I know, but her liver is failing. I've seen a lot of patients who have struggled with similar if not the same diagnosis as your daughter. They were in great spirits and looking better, but sadly it was only in their last few days." She says and I take a deep breath.
"Meaning she only has a couple more days left no matter what." I whisper and the nurse nods.
"The request to hasten Josephine's death has become abundant at this point."
"On Christmas?" I whisper and she rubs her arms.
"I wish I could tell you that no, not on Christmas, but I don't- I don't know. There's no telling what could happen in the next few hours or so. She's only getting weaker and sadly it's time." She says and I nod as the door slowly opens and Ethan walks out.
"Hey, just checking to see how everything's going." He says shutting the door behind him.
"Josie might not make it through Christmas." I breathe out and he looks over at me sadly.
"I'll leave you guys for a little." The nurse says then slips into Josie's room as Ethan pulls me against his chest. I don't cry as he continues to comfort me, maybe it's because a part of me sadly knew this would happen. He rubs my back then slowly releases me and I take a deep breath.
"They want to stop treatment and sedate her." I whisper
"Hasten her death?" He whispers and I nod taking another deep breath.
"Let's go back in." He says and I nod taking his hand then smiling as we walk back in.
"Mommy, all the cookies are decorated." She says and I smile as Ethan and I walk over.
"Wow, they're beautiful." I whisper and she nods as my dad takes them and puts them down on a small table near the "chimney".
"So what's left on our list for the night?" Alex asks
"Present and Polar Express." She says and I smile.
"Ah, right! How could I forget?" Alex asks handing her over a Christmas present. I smile as she tares into it and grins opening the second small box as I sit down beside her in the small hospital bed.
"It's so pretty!" She exclaims and I smile as she goes to open the locket, which is much like my own. It snaps open and I smile seeing the family picture on one side then a photo of me and her on the other.
"It's me and you mommy." She whispers and I nod kissing her head.
"It is baby. It will always be me and you." I say and she smiles hugging me. I hug her back then help her put the necklace on.
"I'll never take it off." She says putting it around her neck and I smile walking over to the TV and popping in the Polar Express DVD. Ethan sits in a seat beside the bed and takes my free hand in his, resting it on the hospital bed as my dad shuts off the lights and sits back down in his seat. Josie puts her head on my chest and I smile to myself as the movie starts and Ethan rubs small circles on my wrist. I kiss Josie's forehead then turn my attention back to the movie.
~~~
"Is she asleep?" My mom asks.
"Yeah." I whisper shifting some so Josie's laying down flat.
"Okay, I think we're all going to head home and get some sleep. We'll be back here bright and early tomorrow morning, but I think you and Josie need a night together, alone." My mom whispers and I smile as she bends down and gives me a hug followed by my dad then finally Alex. I told all of them that I agreed to the request, and Josie will be sedated. They were heart broken but like me, they know it has to happen. I wave as they all leave then look over as Ethan walks back in a few minutes later.
"Everyone leave?"
"Yeah, they wanted to give Josie and I a night alone." I say
"Oh, I can go to if you-
"No, I want you here." I whisper and he nods sitting back down in his seat. He takes my hand in his again as I lay back down and pull the comforter back over me. Josie mumbles but doesn't wake up and I roll onto my side and look at Ethan.
"Thank you, for everything." I whisper then shut my eyes and slowly start to zone out. I hear him say something back, but can't fully make out the words as sleep carries me away.
~~~~~~~~
