Mid Summer

forty six,

Jaemin hesitantly removes his head from Mark's shoulder in order to look at his face.

Mark looks extremely pale, while his mouth was slightly hanging open. It seemed as though he was shocked by what Donghyuck had said. But for what reason? Was Donghyuck right? Was Mark doing something other than practicing?

"Mark hyung?" Jaemin asks quietly, standing up a bit straighter. His arms were still around the elder's torso, but his eyes were transfixed on the other's.

Jaemin knows, he knows that he doesn't know Mark as well as Donghyuck does. Sure, they live together and spend seventy percent of their time together, but nothing, nothing can compare to how well Donghyuck knows Mark. Jaemin thinks similarly when it comes to him and Jeno. Donghyuck and Mark could spend every fleeting moment with him, but out of the three of them, Jeno would always be the one to know Jaemin the best. At this time at least. Everything, including knowledge, comes in time.

So until then, Jaemin understands and accepts that Donghyuck knows Mark better than he and Jeno too. Which is why he believes the older boy when he says that Mark was doing something else other than practicing.

Mark doesn't answer when Jaemin calls him though. And when Jeno looks closely, he can see the eldest curl his left hand into a tight fist. Donghyuck seemed to have hit home with whatever he said.

Jeno doesn't think too much about it, he never tends to think too much about Mark. Mark was always the oldest, always the one with the most maturity and the most intelligence. Jeno now realizes that that doesn't mean he was the most independent, or the most stable. When Jeno spends unnecessary time looking after Donghyuck and Jaemin, he realizes he could've been looking after Mark. Thinking about Mark, and how he got so pale, how he lost weight, how he attained the dark circles under his eyes. There were a lot of things Jeno could've thought about when it came to Mark. It was just his fault for not thinking about it.

Feeling immense guilt, Jeno seeks solace in Donghyuck, who reaches a hand out for Jeno without even having to look away from their eldest's face. Perhaps Donghyuck knows him better than he thought. The light squeeze Donghyuck gives him is just assurance of that.

Meanwhile, Mark still hasn't spoken, seeming incapable of doing so. His fists only curl tighter, and Donghyuck would be lying if he said that it didn't anger him.

Sure, everyone has insecurities. All four of them have insecurities, and Donghyuck is sure of that. But shouldn't Mark know that the three of them, that Donghyuck, Jaemin and Jeno, would never judge Mark? Would never belittle him, think lesser of him, think negatively of him? Mark meant a lot to Donghyuck, and he was willing to bet chocolate covered pretzels that Mark meant a lot to Jaemin and Jeno too. The three of them felt so strongly for their Mark hyung. It was something Donghyuck thought was obvious. Clearly, it wasn't obvious enough, if Mark thinks that he still can't verbally express what's bothering him.

The paleness of his skin, the purple under his eyes and the redness in his eyes show Donghyuck something. Perhaps it's because he knows Mark better than anyone else in the locker room, but he knows the look of red in the elder's eyes.

Mark rarely cries.

Ever, really.

It's so rare that Donghyuck can't help but remember what his eyes look like after he lets his tears loose.

It looks exactly like this.

There's warmth coming from behind Donghyuck, and he knows it's Jeno making himself small behind him. Jeno was taller than Donghyuck, not by a lot, but enough. Sometimes it's endearing how Jeno tries to hide behind him, whether it be out of embarrassment or out of affection, Donghyuck thought it was cute. But right now, when it was out of guilt and fear, Donghyuck feels dread settle into his stomach.

It wasn't Jeno's fault.

It wasn't anyone's fault.

"Donghyuck," Mark finally says, squeezing his eyes shut tight, taking one, two, breaths to calm himself.

Mark knows that if Donghyuck knows, it's too much. That if Donghyuck can tell that something was wrong, there was too much wrong. If Donghyuck can tell, that means Mark can't handle it anymore. Normally, he could hide things from Donghyuck. Hide things like this. But if Donghyuck can see right through him, that means Mark is one quadratic function away from launching himself into self pity for however long until someone finds him.

Sighing, Donghyuck softens his eyes and takes a tentative step closer, staring into Mark's bloodshot eyes.

"Minhyung," he calls softly, smiling what he hopes is the smile which normally causes Mark to cave.

It is.

And it works.

Donghyuck, Jeno and Jaemin watch how Mark's shoulders visibly deflate, how his eyes glisten and how his resolve seems the crumble.

"Donghyuck," their eldest says again, except this time it's softer. More tender. More vulnerable. It's a whimper.

And before Jaemin knows it, Mark is running out of his arms and into Donghyuck's. It doesn't surprise him though, and he knows that Donghyuck understands Mark in a way he's incapable of right now.

So he lets Mark be in Donghyuck's embrace, let's him cry as loud as he wants.

Jeno stands there feeling awkward; Donghyuck was still holding onto his hand.

He tries to pull it away, tries to give Mark and Donghyuck the privacy the former probably wanted, but Donghyuck won't let go. He just pulls Jeno's hand, yanking him closer until he was squished between the two of them.

Mark's cries have quieted down, his large, brown, wet orbs staring at Jeno until he feels another wave of emotions crash down on him, eliciting a choked sob from his throat. Before he knows it, Mark is crying into his shoulder and Donghyuck watching with way too fond eyes.

It took ages for Mark to cry in front of Donghyuck. The younger is glad that he can be so comfortable around Jeno.

Over Jeno and Mark's shoulders, Donghyuck sees Jaemin pick at his cuticles, lips turned into a frown. Shaking his head lightly, Donghyuck walks around the two other boys, scooping Jaemin into his arms.

The younger seems surprised, eyes widening the slightest bit when Donghyuck touches him.

"Is Mark hyung okay?" Jaemin asks, biting his lower lip in anxiousness. Donghyuck hums, using his thumb to pull Jaemin's lip out from between his teeth.

"He just needs to let it out," Donghyuck says quietly, looking into Jaemin's eyes with a bit too much adoration. "Don't worry too much. We'll all cuddle and give him kisses later on."

That thought seems to appeal to Jaemin as he perks up a bit, smiling a bit brighter at Donghyuck.