Mid Summer

twenty,

When Jaemin agreed to go on a date with Mark, he didn't think Mark would take it seriously.

He thought that maybe Mark was just trying to figure out if he was really tripping about liking Jaemin, and had to experience a date with him before coming to a conclusion.

Also, Jaemin was just really nervous about the whole thing.

Because for one; he doesn't know if Mark told Donghyuck about this date. If he did, well then it's surprising that Donghyuck hadn't ripped his head off by now. But judging by how that didn't happen, Jaemin assumes that Donghyuck doesn't know about his boyfriend taking Jaemin on a date, which somehow makes everything more scary. 

And two; what if Mark asked Jaemin on this date just to shut down everything between the four of them once and for all? What if Mark was just going to take him somewhere nice and ease the news on him gently by saying that he's meant for Donghyuck and that Jaemin was meant for Jeno, and that things should stay that way.

Jaemin doesn't know why, he really, truly doesn't know why, but the thought of ending everything messy between the four of them made his chest clench in a weird way he wasn't used to.

There was also another reason, another small reason.

Jaemin was nervous about his first date with Mark because it reminded him of how he felt when he was about to go on his first date with Jeno.

And he didn't know how to interpret that information.

Should he be excited? Excited that someone else was making him feel this way, that he was apparently open to their relationship?

Or should he feel scared? Scared that someone else could make him feel the way Jeno makes him feel.

Jaemin's more scared than excited, but he won't deny that it was that exact excitement which caused him to accept Mark's date offer.

To be completely honest, Jaemin didn't even think of any other factors before saying yes.

He didn't think about Mark having a boyfriend, about him having a boyfriend, or about how much Donghyuck would get hurt, and how much Jeno would get hurt.

Truth be told, Jaemin didn't think at all before accepting Mark's date offering.

But he'd be lying if he said that guilt wasn't eating himself alive.

He didn't know what to tell Jeno.

He asked Jaemin and Mark to get along, not go on dates. He didn't ask Jaemin to break his heart.

"I'm going to pick up some last minute school supplies, alright?" Jaemin tells Jeno one evening when they're walking back from dinner. He feels disgusting because lying to Jeno made his gut twist in all the wrong ways.

"Should I come with you?" Jeno offers, and Jaemin feels his heart ache. Instead, he gives the elder a tight lipped smile and shakes his head no.

"I'll be fine on my own," he assures, playing the the buttons on the elder's plaid shirt. "Love you," he mumbles.

Jaemin doesn't have to be looking at Jeno to know that the latter just flashed him with megawatt smile.

"Love you too!"

Jaemin doesn't think he deserves Jeno.

——

Donghyuck was scary when he was mad.

Which is why Mark's been walking on eggshells around the younger ever since asking Jaemin out on a date.

He'd have to come clean with Donghyuck, at one point. He just doesn't know when to.