Sniper

Chapter 9

First off, I wanna apologise again for the late chapter. I had a different idea for this chapter; it was gonna be an out of character one off for Christmas but it just wasn't working out so I had to skip it and just move onto the next chapter. I hope you like this chapter all the same though. Also sorry for shit spelling/grammar in advance, I just wanted to get this out :/

Trigger Warning!! This chapter is more serious than other chapters and covers sensitive situations in detail. If you're triggered by self harm, date r*pe drugging and other minor topics, please be cautious reading or just skip this chapter if you really can't deal with such topics.
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Light begins to stream through the cracks in my blinds, the warm light blinding me but waking me up from my zoned out daze. I'm suddenly more aware of my surroundings, Tords gentle snoring creating a comfortable ambient vibe to my dark cluttered room. I glance at my phone screen to check the time, 7am. The sun had started to rise later and later as it was now getting into mid September. I dragged myself out of bed trying my best not to wake Tord.

The mood was still tense, my wrists burned agains the tight bandages and I had a mild hangover. And for me there was only one way to fix that. I cracked the lid off a fresh bottle of rum taking a swig. The brown liquid burnt my throat but I didn't care.
I leaned against the kitchen counter and studied my bandages intensely, annoyance twinged at my stomach.

"Why does Tord deal with me?" I ask myself, "nobody does this shit for no reason, and I'm definitely not the type to have lasting relationship with." I took another mouthful of rum.

"You're drinking again?"

I jump slightly, I hadn't even heard Tord enter the room, "And?" I shrug him off and take another drink.

"I just thought you were feeling better." He mumbled

There was that annoyance again. Rage boiling up under my skin, "it's not that simple, Tord."

"What do you mean? I told you to get me if you were ever feeling bad again." I could hear the irritation in Tords voice which triggered something in me.

"What so every time I feel like I want to overdose I've to come running to you like a lost puppy?" I snap, slamming my palm against the kitchen counter.

"That's not what I meant." He mumbled under his breath, his eyes looking anywhere but at me.

"What did you mean then Tord? What did you mean?..." he didn't answer, "What did you expect? That you were gonna take me in and show me affection and that was going to be it? I was just gonna be fixed?!"
I took another long swig from the bottle, desperate to drink it as fast as I could; some of the burning liquid ran down my chin. I gasped for air, my throat and stomach felt as if they'd close up if I drank any more.

"You can't just fix me because you want to Tord. It's not that simple. And I was blind for thinking you could do that too."

"What do you mean?" He asked, anger seeping from his throat

"You're just a distraction, at least you were. You distracted me from my self but now you just remind me of everything I hate about myself because you're nothing like me and you just emanate that!"

"What is your fucking problem?" Tord growled

"That's my problem! You know nothing about me! You have this false perspective of mental health, it's like you see it as romantic!... You swoop in and take home the poor little sad boy and he realises that he's got something to live for, you." I say in a mocking love struck tone.