Collar boy

Day 7 (Wednesday)

The times that I was left alone I got various small visits from myself and others. I begun to understand that I may no longer be able to trust my sense of reality. I found various voices echoed in my head and my emotions began to become uncontrollable. I didn't know how to deal with myself anymore, so I simply focused on deep breaths which ended up being a little more effective than I had planned.

After a long wait, I heard the door open, but I only stayed there. I was hungry and my mind was all messed up. I must've looked like a mess as well, my face was all wet with tears and my hair was tangled. I covered my ears and tensed, but it didn't do much as I heard the voice of my supervisor.

"I guess that's been enough punishment for now." I was later picked up and forced into a clean and freshly ironed school uniform and carried me off into the car.

After a series of annoyed grunts, I was placed into the car and buckled. He struggled a bit as I ceased to move any muscle in my body. My mind was out of control and I ceased to know if I had any control over my own body. I was uncertain about the control of my body, but I was definitely going crazy. For safety reasons I decided to leave my body numb, it was certainly something that only a crazy person would think.

We exited to find the training place again, but our visit was short. We encountered the trainer who was twiddling his syringe, definitely bored. At the sight of me, his attitude improved a little but he seemed to realize something and sat back down.

"Number 99 needs some rest from his training." He didn't make such a big deal about it, he only left a brief, accepting grunt. It surprised me, and I wondered just how crazy I was going.

I later found out in the car while being driven to school. The supervisor was picking up a call, probably from another supervisor and they chatted a while. It appeared a little later in the conversation that the caller had asked a question, his response was astonishing.

"The boss said that we had to skip training for a day, something about him repairing his mental state." A small burst of joy exploded in my stomach, but I couldn't hold the butterflies well enough. I threw up on the floor of the seat and the supervisor stopped the car in a jerk. I drooled as I was once again carried out of the car. I was laid on the sidewalk and I turned to my side trying to breathe. It appeared that my mental state was a bit more messed up than I had thought.

While the supervisor cleaned up the mess he called someone while cleaning up the throw-up. He was patient, but I could see the frustration on his face.

"Yes, boss he threw up, and I was wondering if we were still supposed to bring him to school." He nodded a few times in a repetitive manner. "Yes, mhm, yes...but" I saw his shoulders slump as he pressed the red hang up button, hands trembling.

When he turned around all signs of his fear had disappeared and I was heaved into the car. The supervisor went back a little and I was then put over his shoulder. I didn't expect the sudden flow of water that soaked my clothes. When I was pulled out my outfit was soggy and I fell to the floor to cough out the water that I had accidentally swallowed. My view was a bit dizzy as a clean school outfit was thrown before me. Once I grabbed them the supervisor pointed at the cluster of trees. I hurried there and slipped on my uniform. I found it a bit difficult but eventually only my hair and body were wet. When I went back to the supervisor he grabbed a tissue from his car and wiped my face, hands, and arms.

While continuing our drive, I got lots of criticism and demands from the supervisor. I got many insults, but I was unable to absorb the words that were told to me. I was a mental mess and was simply waiting to go to school. School seemed safer, and a little more secure. Yes, I had to watch what I did and be careful of every move that I made, but by now I was accustomed to that.