Mr. Playboy | Jungkook

Jungkook's Past

I used to be in love, when I was younger. I was in love with the most beautiful woman in this universe. I loved everything about her. Her soothing voice and adorable laugh. Her intellect and witty humor. I knew her since my young teenage years, watching her develop into an incredible woman that I knew I was going to marry.

I was always shy around her, but she always knew I had a crush on her. She found it really cute and would playfully tease me about it. She would always receive my grand gestures with a full heart, her loving gaze that would make me melt into butter. One day, I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend, after years of building up my courage. 

Who knew that same day, would be the worst day of my life.

It was the most embarrassing and humiliating thing I have ever felt in my entire existence. I wanted to dig myself a hole and bury myself in it until I died. Her mesmerizing smile turned into a pitiful frown, as she was getting ready to break my heart. "Jungkook," she said, "I'm sorry."

"What?" I responded, my hopeful eyes becoming dead with sorrow.  I was trying to act naive, but I wasn't a little kid anymore. I knew what she meant with those words. I saw her grow up into an amazing woman and she watched me grow up into a man. But she never saw me as a man.

Just her boyfriend's little brother.

"I love your brother," she replied, making me hang my head in sadness. The world I once saw in color, became black and white. It wasn't me and her in a magnificent world made for us. It was just me. Just her. And the world that was made for anyone to be in. I was taken as a joke, a cute little crush she deemed as adorable. She never saw me as a man.

"How long?" I asked, holding in my tears. She reached for my shoulder, but I harshly pushed her hand away, "how long?!" I threw the flowers on the cement, making her flinch. "Please," she pleaded, "Jungkook-" "Don't say my name!" I yelled at her, "Just answer the question!"

"For as long as I can remember."

My heart sank and shriveled into nothing. I couldn't feel anything anymore, as if I wasn't capable of love anymore. It was all fake. It was never real. It was all in my imagination; a little boy's imagination. 

"To tell you the truth," she continued, "We have already confessed our feelings to each other."

The more she spoke of him, the more I despised my brother. The same brother I looked up as my role model. The person I can always talk to and rely on. The person I always talked to when I was fawning over her.

"And?"

She was taken aback, not knowing how to answer me. I knew she was trying to say it as nice as possible, but what was the point? She already killed me.

"We have already been dating for about a month."

In that moment, I have never felt so stupid. I knew the girl my brother always talked about had a resemblance to her. No wonder she still viewed me as a child. I still had the same mentality and thought process like one.

After that day, I completely changed into what the girls called me "Asshole" or "Jerk." I began my playboy ways and had sex with countless women. I never cared if they felt more. I always warned them that they're only going to be used for sex. Nothing more. I switched off my feelings of love and only replaced it with the feeling of lust. I never let myself love anyone else. 

Thank God for college right?

No one gives a fuck. We both clearly state that it's only sex and nothing more. We're only there to have our orgasms and leave the next day. 

On the bright side, I met my best friends. They filled in the empty hole I had for the past few years. They took over the role of my older brother, which I haven't talked to for about two years  since I went away for college

Why should I? He played me on like if I was never going to find out about their relationship. He thought I was going to be pathetic enough to just follow her around like a puppy, not being capable of growing some balls and asking her out. I felt betrayed by two of the most important people in my life.

Fuck them.