Mr. Playboy | Jungkook

What's Wrong With Me?

I sat there in silence, processing the words that slipped through his lips. "What do you mean yes?" I asked him, demanding a response. He quickly sat up, grabbing my hands and looking into my eyes, "Don't think of it the wrong way." I scoffed, yanking my hands away from his grip. I crossed them across my chest, "What am I supposed to make of it. You just confessed your love for another woman. To your girlfriend." "It's not like that," he whined, trying to get me to understand. But I didn't not know what was there to understand. He still loves the other woman, whose name is Yuri apparently.

"So what am I supposed to make out of it then?" I questioned. I saw the distraught look in his eyes, his gaze focused in my furious ones. He looks scared as if he's going to lose me. "I love you," he responded, cupping my face with his shaky hands. "It's just not that easy to not love someone you have loved for a long time." I nodded in agreement, acknowleding his reasoning, but it still doesn't sit well with me. I removed his hands from my face and held them in my hands tightly.

"I don't know how that feels," I answered. "However, I'm tired of your insecurities getting in the way." I let go of his hands and rubbed my eyes, fighting back the tears that are threatening to come out. "I have my insecurities too, yet I can't bring them up because our relationship is too focused on yours. We can never stick with the good times because you are too caught up in the past. I have gone through so much shit with you and you can't even do me the favor and realize I am one hell of a great girlfriend. So please, come back to me when you finally sort your feelings out, because I am done trying to help you."

He tried to speak but I stopped him before he could say anything. He sighed and got up from the bed, shuffling his feet across the floor. He opened the door but he stood there in the doorway, looking back to me, "I still love you." "I love you too," I cried, but I stood my ground. "Just sort your shit out." He closed the door behind him and I began to cry silently. "Fuck you, Jungkook," I whispered to myself, wiping the tears that streamed down my face.

"Babe? Babe?"

I opened my eyes slowly, waking up to a sweet voice. I saw Jungkook, who seemed worried. "What? What happened?" I asked him, kind of lost. "Babe, you were crying in your sleep." He wiped a tear from the corner of my eye, looking at me fondly and apologetically. "You mean...we didn't-" "Didn't what?" He questioned, brushing a few strands of hair away from my face. "Nevermind," I shook my head. "Did I fall asleep?" He rubbed the nape of his neck, "Yeah. After I told you about my brother and Yuri, you said okay and fell asleep."

So I dreamt the whole thing? What kind of sick dream was that? "Oh," I replied, sitting up. I looked around the room, which seemed dark, "What time is it?" "It's about three in the morning," he responded, tilting his head as he observed my abnormal behavior. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "So I woke you up from my crying?" He nodded, "You were whimpering and sniffling, so I woke up. Why were you crying?" Because we kind of temporarily broke up? I think? "I actually don't really remember to be honest," I lied. "Well, okay. If you do remember at some point, please tell me."

He rubbed his tired eyes, grazing his fingers through his messy, dark hair. I don't know what came over me, but I felt the urge to kiss him. I straddled over his lap and he perked up in surprise, "What are you doing?" "I don't know," I whispered, planting a firm kiss on his lips. I entangled his hair in between my fingers, feeling his arms tightening around my waist. I left wet kisses along his neck, making him moan softly. "Are you okay?" He said breathlessly. I nodded, "Yes."

I just wanted to feel him in my arms, become one with him. The dream disguised as a nightmare made me paranoid for our future. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but my insecurities are getting in the way. Despite his clearly expressed love for me, I am afraid those three words will not last. I love him too much it hurts.

I crawled down his legs, pulling down his shorts and briefs. He stared at me with awe as he was about to recieve his first blowjob from me. I pumped him a few times, swallowing my saliva out of anxiousness. I took him whole, bobbing my head at a steady pace. He hissed through his gritted teeth, throwing his head back as he savored my lips around him. "Am I doing it right?" I asked him, wiping saliva from the corner of my mouth. He returned to his senses, "Yes, you definitely are."

I soon crawled to his lap, aligning him to my entrance. "Wait. I don't have a condom-" "I don't care," I whispered in his ear. "But-" I slowly sank down, adjusting to his size. I held him tightly, groaning into his ear. He forgot about everything he was whining about and shoved me all the way down, enjoying the soft moans coming from my mouth. After a few minutes we both came, and luckily, Jungkook was able to detect it before he came inside of me.

We laid side by side on the bed, holding hands in between our bodies. "Are you sure you are okay?" He asked again. I rolled my eyes and turned over to him, "Yes, I'm fine. Why?" His face had concern written all over it, "You kept insisting on making love without a condom." "I was in the heat of the moment, I'm sorry." I replied, staring at the ceiling. "Just...we have to be careful." I nodded just to make him leave me alone.

What's wrong with me?