Mr. Playboy | Jungkook

Insecure

I decided to visit Eunjae at her house since I felt really awkward with what happened last night. It's not like I can tell Jeongguk that I'm not okay with him loving another woman, especially since I already said it was okay. I must be the most dumbest person on the planet if I just let that comment slide with me. Like what the fuck, do I have any respect for myself? It's confusing because at least he was being honest with me. So I was debating whether or not I'm mad at him for telling me the truth or...? 

"So, I had sex with Jeongguk," I sighed, playing with Eunjae's sequined pillow. Eunjae stared at me with disinterest, furrowing her eyebrows as she said, "Okay? Thanks for letting me know?" I rolled my eyes, "Without a condom." She took a deep breath, the sound of her tapping foot making me feel anxious. "Are you dumb?" She spoke plainly. "Why are you doing irresponsible things out of nowhere? You're going to get yourself pregnant. Wait. Was this his doing?"

She shot up from the bed, already stomping her way to the door to probably give Jeongguk a piece of her mind. "Stop!" I yelled, feeling guilty that it was actually my fault for what happened. "I was the one who decided not to use it. He didn't want to but I made him." I hung my head in shame, saying the words out loud made me feel even more embarrassed. "Why?" She asked me, sitting next to me. I felt hot tears pooling in my eyes, an immediate frown forming on my face. "He still loves her..." I cried, letting Eunjae pet my hair as she held me in an embrace. She let me wallow in her arms and calm down until I was able to fully explain what happened between him and I. She stared at me in remorse, "So you did it in the spur of the moment?" I nodded, "I feel insecure. And it's not like I can say anything, he told me he can't just fall out of love with a person. I'm scared I'm going to break him again, just like last time."

She shook her head, "No, it's not like last time. He's different, I see it. It is true, you can't just fall out of love with someone, especially your first love. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you." I sniffled, blowing my nose into my abused tissue, "Really?" "He used to be a playboy remember? And he gave up that lifestyle because of you. Not to be fucked up, but if he had the opportunity, he would've just fucked you and acted like nothing ever happened." I know she was right, but I was still a little dismissive about it. "Okay..." I said quietly.

"How about this," she said. "You can hang out in my room for the rest of the day and I'll go to the store and come back with a lot of junk food." I nodded, reaching for one of her plush toys to hug it. I watched her shut the door, looking around her room as I decided what to do. I went on my phone and scrolled through all the photos and videos I have of Jeongguk, laughing and smiling at them. I have so much affinity and love for this man that he does really make me go mad. 

After an hour, Eunjae came back with a bag of treats, "Bon Appetit." For the rest of the day, we watched movies on Netflix and enjoyed each others company. "I'm so glad I met you Eunjae," I told her, shooting her a smile. "I know," she replied, giggling. "Wow! So cocky!" I began smacking her with a pillow, making her laugh hysterically, "Stop!" Then my phone chimed with a message, which called my attention. "It's from Jeongguk," I huffed, opening up the text. "It says he has a surprise for me at the house." "Let's go then, I'll walk you." She grinned, outstretching her hand for me to grab.

We slowly strolled across the campus, leisurely making our way to the location. "I wonder what surprise he has in store," Eunjae squealed. Unlike her, I'm not as excited as she is. I'm terrified on what he has in store for me. I climbed up the steps and entered the house, which was practically pitch black. The only available light source was the television in the living room, which shined brightly with a text that said "Play me." I took a look at Eunjae's face, which looked like it wasn't a surprise at all. It seemed like if she knew what was expected.

"Were you in on this?" I asked her, and she chuckled like an innocent girl. "Maybe." I playfully scoffed at her answer and let her nudge me to sit on the couch, playing the video for me. Jeongguk spoke, "Hey love, I heard you were feeling insecure about our relationship." A compilation of our photos and videos were put together, his singing playing quietly in the background. There were some clips and pictures that I didn't even know existed until now. "I'm sorry I'm making you feel this way. I don't want you to wonder whether or not I love you. I want you to know that I love you and that you shouldn't have to second guess my feelings towards you."

I began to tear up once again, the grand gesture pulling at my heartstrings. After the video ended, Eunjae lead me out the back door, where a huge ensemble stood in the small backyard. Various candles that led a trail towards Jeongguk, who stood at the end, smiling brightly in his cute yellow striped shirt. Flower petals were scattered across the grass, inviting me to walk over to him. I slowly made my way through the lit pathway, my heart beginning to pulsate in my ears. "What is this Jeongguk?" I asked him once I became face to face with him.

"Eunjae told me about what has been bothering you," he spoke, hanging his head in disappointment. "I'm sorry." I shook my head, "No, I should've told you the truth." He walked over to me, intertwining my hands with his, "Stop taking the blame for everything, it's not your fault. I always shove my insecurities in your face and it's not fair to you. And about the Yuri thing...I don't love her the way I love you. It's more like pity than love. Please forgive me, I'm sorry."

I immediately sprung into his arms, feeling his embrace enclosing around me. I was finally at ease with my issues, and I have Eunjae to thank for that.  

A/N: I feel like I'm losing my sparkle with this book and I hate that feeling.