Chapter 18 : Nameless Face

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"Where can I go
when the shadows are calling?"

Deep End by Ruelle

     Are you close? 

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     Are you close

     I stared down at the text message I sent John. A million things were going through my mind as I wandered around my room, shoving what little possessions I owned into my bag. I couldn't stay here. I couldn't finish this job, not when my mind was lingering on letting someone die. 

     The thought that something was wrong with me was eating at every bit of my morals, and after my little chat with the boys, I knew this was what I had to do. I told them Roy was crazy. That I was perfectly fine, but I knew they didn't buy it. Hell, I'm pretty sure deep down somewhere I had realized I had been lying to myself this whole time. 

     They were headed back to the service tonight. After Dean and his fire drill, Sue Ann and Roy had both promised me a private session with no interruptions if my companions stayed away. I probably took it a little too far, but I made them aware that whatever fictional relationship that existed between the boys and me was no longer of concern. 

     My phone buzzed, and I picked it up from the bed. 

     Always. Y?

     I stared out the window, watching Dean clean out the lunch containers from the Impala. He was bobbing his head to the music that clouded my thinking process, and I sighed. For some reason, I just really didn't want to leave either of them, but I knew they wouldn't be able to help me with this, and I was only more in danger if I wasn't focused. 

     I pulled a map of Nebraska from my backpack and dropped my ring, hoping it landed on the town with a Dairy Queen. I sighed, never hearing of the town before, and quickly sent him a message back. 

     Meet me at the first diner in Derry.

     His response was instant. When?

     One hour. 

     I sat back on the edge of my bed, staring around the empty room. My duffel bag sat on the floor at my feet, and I jumped as my door swung open, leaving me no time to shove it under the bed. 

    "Sam wants to grab food before we go," Dean said, his gaze wandering around the spotless room until his eyes landed on my bag. "I'd ask where you wanted to eat, but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume you're taking off again?" 

     I sucked in a deep breath and picked my bag up, slinging it over my shoulder. He could try all he wanted to stop me, but it wasn't going to happen. It wasn't like I was trying to run away from him. For once, I was actually running towards my problems and, depending on the outcome, towards death. 

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