Fake You Out - Joshler

Chapter Eight

Chapter 8

Josh wakes up to the sun seeping in through the windows, and a little hand resting on his cheek. He blinks open his eyes, trying to get his vision into focus so he can figure out what the weight against his chest is, and whose finger is almost in his eye. He looks around and sees Tyler on the other side of the bed with the little one, Michael, curled up in a ball on his pillow with his feet resting on Tyler's chest. It's Gerard's hand that's on his face; he's laid out, taking up most of the center of the bed with his face a few inches from Josh's. He looks down and sees that it's Brendon who is laid out across his abdomen with his head pressed into Gerard's stomach, and his feet hanging off the side of the bed.

He sighs, realizing that he can't possible stretch or even get out of bed with a little body on top of him. He looks around and struggles with how he and Tyler do this every morning and every night. They probably never have any time together or for themselves with three small children in the house, and three small children that pile into their bed every night. It's no wonder they had a fight the night before.

Josh thinks about the fight, feeling a bit of resentment for the words Tyler spewed at him. He knows that he doesn't remember the kids, he doesn't remember Tyler, he doesn't even remember himself, but he didn't like Tyler throwing it back in his face and denying him of something that would be his if his memory was okay. He wishes that his memory would correct itself; he wants to be able to remember his marriage to Tyler, and their three sons. Maybe if he could remember, Gerard and Michael wouldn't be so afraid to talk to him. The only person in the house who seems to have accepted Josh's memory loss, and his presence in the house is Brendon.

Josh wonders what kind of husband, what kind of father he was before the accident to have everyone in the house not want anything to do with him. It leaves a low ache in his chest to know that he has to work to remember and to work to get his family comfortable with him again.

Josh doesn't remember, but he knows, deep down he knows that he was a good father, probably, most likely, he hopes so anyway.

"Poppy?" Josh hears someone whisper. He looks down and sees Brendon lifting his head off the mattress, struggling to turn his body around so he can look at Josh. "Poppy, are you sleeping?"

"I'm not sleeping," Josh says, reaching down to help Brendon get adjusted. He ends up with Brendon's face in his neck and body laid out across his properly. He can feel Brendon's feet digging into his thighs as he kicks his feet about.

"We forgot to cuddle before bed," Brendon says as he attempts to wrap his arms around Josh's neck. "We have to cuddle now, okay?"

"You're very...cuddly," Josh says, struggling with whether or not to wrap his arms around the small boy. He figures it's okay to do so since apparently Brendon is his own child. He hears Brendon let out a happy sigh when Josh finally pulls Brendon into a cuddle.

"When Daddy wakes up he'll cuddle too. Daddy's favorite is cuddles."

Josh nods his head, making a note that Brendon is affectionate and cuddly. He also makes a note that Tyler is an apparent cuddler too. He wants to make sure that he can memorize this information, tattoo it to his brain so he won't forget it. He wants to relearn as much as possible about every person lying in this bed.

"Poppy, I'm hungry," Brendon whispers. "Can we wake everyone up now?"

"No," Josh says, shaking his head and patting Brendon on the back. "But we could go downstairs and make everyone breakfast. Can you help me with breakfast?"

Brendon lifts his head, his eyes lighting up at the suggestion. "I'm the very best helper, ever."

Josh makes a note of that too.