image ⌮ yang jeongin

15 | i'm sorry

哦

Jinha~

I brushed my fingers against my lips as that scene from earlier kept on replaying in my head. I actually just got my first kiss... at a nursing home. There's nothing wrong with that, I thought it was actually quite cute.

"Wouldn't it be better if I was the one who did it?" Those words kept repeating in my head, making my heart want to combust.

"Oh my gosh!" I started giggling like crazy, and even started kicking my feet up into the air.

Is this how it feels like to be in love? Gosh, I must really be so young and unexperienced to still not know the right answers to that question.

The overwhelming feeling I felt in my chest once his lips landed on mine- it felt like I was floating on clouds. How could that one simple human contact make such a huge impact on me and my feelings?

I took the camera and decided to record myself. I want to see how dumb I look on camera.

"So, as you can see... I'm really whipped right now. Jeongin, thank you so much for this day- I swear, I absolutely enjoyed every second of it. To all the residents in that house, I promise to come visit often" I chuckled while remembering our performance. "Of course, I'll sing trot music again. I really appreciate everyone's kindness. Thanks for putting up with me."

Knock*

I turned off the camera and quickly went to go get the door. My smile turned into a frown once I saw his face.

"Can we actually talk this time?" Junkyu looked at me with sincerity in his eyes. I nodded and we both then headed outside.

"What is it?" I crossed my arms and avoided looking at him.

"About last time, I'm truly sorry for what I've done and said. Before going here, I went and apologized to Jeongin. My actions that day were caused due to my impulsiveness- I know it's not a valid reason, but I really wasn't thinking properly. I'm really sorry."

"Just don't do it again. If Jeongin forgives you, then so do I." I assured him and his eyes lit up.

"I'm relieved," Junkyu suddenly tapped my shoulders for some unknown reason. "He told me all about it... how are you holding up?"

"Told you about what?" I'm not sure if I'm just being naive, or if I'm really dumb-

"His condition. It must be really hard for the both of you," He stared at me in pity. "Don't be afraid to talk to me or ask help if you need anything. I'm willing to help in any possible way that I can."

"Is this for me or Jeongin?" I gulped down the lump forming inside my throat, and asked that one question with the very little remaining confidence I had left.

"If I say for Jeongin, you wouldn't believe me. If I say for you, you'd probably get angry... how about I say for the both of you? For my past friendship with Jeongin, and to the girl I like."

"Junkyu-"

"Don't worry. I'm not planning to pull some type of stupid scheme on you two or something." Junkyu chuckled and I just realized that he kinda looks like a baby koala. Weird realization, I know...

"You better not. I'm actually trusting you this time!" I joked.

"He'll live. Don't worry."

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Jeongin~

It was so strange to have an actual decent conversation with Junkyu for once. It seems like that boy always takes everything in as a joke, or sometimes he gets triggered very easily.

He was actually concerned about me. For once, I suddenly felt as if I was talking to my past best friend in middle school, Kim Junkyu.

Today, he seemed very familiar to me. Not the usual teenage boy who styles his hair and dresses the way people tell him to. That one asshole in school that tries to get with all the girls, and typically breaks all their hearts. That person who you're not certain if you want to be friends with.

The Junkyu that I knew- the Junkyu that I met today, he was one of the kindness people in this planet. The very first friend I made once I moved schools, he's the only person who knew about my sickness. He didn't show me pity, but he was definitely concerned. Junkyu was almost like a brother to me. He was selfless and always reminded me to be myself.

I must have really upset him to an extent, that even he forgot to follow his own words anymore.

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YALL IM HELLA WOKE AND SICK RN IMA GO CRY IN THE CORNER-

Song: OFFONOFF (오프온오프) — Bath