starlight |jw

Prologue

"Look at her, is there a place in her face without pimples?"

"She should really lose some weight"

"That foreigner makes me want to bleach my eyes every time I see her"

"Who does she think she is, exactly? Letting everyone see that hideous face in the daytime"

"You're right! That spectrum's place is a horror movie, for sure!  After all, she wouldn't have to put scary makeup when she already has that face"

That's basically how most of  my days played out; walking inside my classroom to hear my classmates complaints about how I completely ruined our grades' image wth my presence.
Their problem with me was that I was American, but not American-looking enough. I didn't have blue eyes, nor did I have blonde hair. I was a dull girl, slightly heavier than them, so I met no standard, but the 'ugly girl' one.

Not everyone at school treated me like that, or even in my classroom.. some of the guys were actually quite nice and tried to make me feel comfortable the first few days but they eventually learned I was nothing exotic and so they quickly lost interest in me, only talking to me when necessary.

I shrugged it off like every other day, mentally telling myself I wasn't at fault for the way they treat me and kept going my way out of the school building. 

As I arrived at the dull and lifeless apartment I was meant to call 'home', I walked inside and directed myself to my room quickly getting dressed in my running attire, habit I picked up in order to try and lose some weight.

On a daily basis I would run a few laps around my neighborhood first thing in the morning and also when I came back from school; but today I felt conflicted with myself. I knew that it wasn't my fault if some people didn't like me, and deep down it felt wrong to lose weight just to please strangers.. but I also wanted to have a nice highschool experience, memories that I could treasure and friends whom I could count on, and this, felt like the only way to achieve that, so I ran. I ran, trying to escape from those words that haunted me every night in my dreams and came back to my memory every morning as I woke up. 

Why was I never enough?

I left the States because I was never able to fit in with my classmates, but now I've come to where 'I belong' only to find out that they too, dislike me.

So, am I not at fault, really? Because being honest, I can't believe that anymore.

So I kept running with no intentions of stopping, realizing that if I did change what other people dislike about me, just maybe, I could finally have a chance to belong.

 My earphones blasted 'Rejects' by 5 seconds of summer, this song putting everything I was feeling into lyrics with a melody; I wish my reality was a different song, though.

Soon a park was on sight, so I decided to stop for a little, realizing this park was at the other side of Seoul. 

"heck, how did I even get here?" I whispered to myself as I sat down on a bench, trying to steady my breathing a little. I lifted my head up to the sky, and saw the dimly lit sky that indicated the sun was soon to set. My chest  started to feel tight and my head began spinning, making myself dizzy, an obvious consequence to my questionable eating schedule and intense exercise. I guess combining them wasn't such a good idea, after all.

But shaking my head and squinting my eyes to adjust my eyesight that had become a little blurry, I stood up, knowing that all of my efforts were to pay me back one day, for sure. I adjusted my ponytail and once again, started running, this time back to my apartment; and as I was running, a song that started playing caught my attention, since it was one that I've never heard before, and it was for sure not the type of song I would listen to, it being a bright and cheerful song that was most likely sung by a kpop band, a genre I wasn't all that interested in. But this song was something else, because behind that bright child-like song, were actually some very meaningful lyrics.. was kpop actually like that?

I kept listening, trying to pay as much attention as I could to the lyrics, but before the song could come to an end, I stopped myself to heart it so I could go back to it

'just right-GOT7-' it read, a small smile sneaked its way onto my face as the song came to an end, maybe I could learn a little from that song. With a soft sigh, I locked my phone to keep going but as I gave the first step, my legs gave out and I fell on the sidewalk; luckily I didn't hurt my head or face, but I did scratch my arm and I wasn't even sure if I could get back up, so I tried, failing instantly, falling back down to the floor. My lips expressed their frustration by allowing a groan to escape my lips as I scrolled through my phone in hopes of finding someone I could call for help, but whom could that be if I had no one? besides, it was already late at night.

As I gave up on my phone and decided to wait till my legs reacted someone knelt down in front of me with a concerned expression; his eyes were a chocolatey brown and his hair a few tones lighter, he was very handsome.

"Are you alright? Let me help you"
"a-ani!, gwenchanisseyo... my.. legs won't move so I'll just... wait" I said with a small nervous laugh at the end.

"For a while? It's dark and cold already, just, let me help you" he insisted, a soft expression on his face. I hesitated a little but knowing he was right, I nodded my head shyly, accepting his offer; he gave me a small smile while wrapping his arms around my legs and my back, lifting me up. 
"T-thanks," I said loud enough for him to hear.

We walked inside a cafe since I insisted on not going to the hospital; he found a table for us and placed me down on a chair, sitting on the chair across from me right after

"Can I offer you a drink?" he asked with yet another charming smile
"N-no, thanks.. you already did enough"  I felt bad for causing so much trouble for him, he even had to carry my heavyweight for several blocks, my face heated up from embarrassment the more I thought about it.
"Don't worry about that..  but you should at least have water" this guy clearly was not one to give up easily; I didn't want him to think I was being rude, so I accepted his politeness once again. 

"Here you go," he said, twisting a water bottle open and handing it to me afterward. I nodded my head once while taking the bottle, thanking him. I took a sip of the bottle, the water giving me a refreshing feeling. Then, I tried moving my legs in circular motions, a tingling feeling accompanied by a wave of  stinging pain, causing me to bite my bottom lip 

"Better?" He asked as if on queue, my head snapped in his direction

"ah? oh, yeah... I can.. move my legs now" I replied with a nod, adverting my gaze from his. 

"I'm Lee Sunhi, by the way" I said, guessing it was about time to introduce ourselves. He nodded at my words, giving me what I described as a 'cheeky smile'  as I said my name.

"I'm Jackson Wang, nice to meet you"

***

{n/a} hii, this is my first got7 fanfic! So I'm hoping you'll give it love by voting and reading every chapter! I hope you like it so far!
-xx

{a/n: hello everyone! Lately I've been regretting how this book turned out, and even though i do like some parts, others are kinda ridiculous, heh. So I decided to revise and edit this book, considering I have struggled with mental issues myself and the consistency of the book regarding that matter isn't great, so i really wanna go back and fix my mistakes! So be ready to read my best attempt!}

-xx