"Dear Hiatus..." (Sequel to A Living Hell) // Fall Out Boy

Remember Me As I Was Not As I Am (Joe's POV)

My worst nightmare is standing right in front of me.

She's gone absolutely insane, or maybe it's me. Honestly, I'm not even sure anymore. My fear is taking over, just imagining what she's going to do to me this time. She told me that if I didn't stop fighting her, I'd end up like Marie. Truthfully, that'd probably be best at this point. I'd rather fucking die than go through this again. I know I can't handle it. She's too much for me to handle after last time, and now that the guys and I are separated, I know I just can't.

"So, Joseph," she said, pushing me down into a chair in a large, dark, cold room. "how've you been?"

"What do you care?" I spat.

"Because I care about you," she smirked, her eyes flashing an evil look at me.

"Bullshit," I said. "You never fucking cared about any of us. Never! You're fucking psychotic if you think I'm going to do anything you say!"

"You see," she chuckled, walking around me, running her hand over my cheek again. "if you four don't follow my rules, I'm afraid your poor, little fans won't have anyone to love anymore," she said, stopping in front of me. She leaned down again, resting her hands on my knees and getting within inches of my face once more. "You fucking disobey me, I will fucking kill you. With a flick of my wrist, you and your little friends will be dead," she stood up, then she slapped my face. Hard.

"You're insane!" I shouted, not wanting to listen to a word she said. 

"Oh dear, don't you think I know?" she smirked, walking around me again. "If you can't tell, I like it." By now, she was behind me, resting her hands on my shoulders, making me paralyzed with fear. "You see, Joseph, I use that to my advantage. It means that I can put the four of you through far worse than what I did last time."

"W-Why do you even do this?" I asked, not shouting, not yelling.

"Because," she gripped my chair, spinning me around so I was facing her. "if you can't tell, I just love watching you all beg for me to stop, to cry and cry, wishing you were dead, and to see the blood pour from your body."

"You're fuckin' sick," I said. 

"Oh, trust me, I know," she smirked, walking around me again. "Now, I'm going to leave you alone in this room here. You try to escape, I will find you and I will kill you. I won't hesitate to put a fucking bullet through your head and watch you drop dead onto the cold, concrete floor."

She untied me from the chair, soon leaving the room and locking the metal door behind her. There was a small, rust-covered bed with a thin mattress in the corner of the room, then a rusty desk in the other corner. Towards the ceiling, there was just a small window, letting a small crack of sunlight through, it shining onto the middle of the floor. The chair I was in was right under the sunlight, the metal of it sparkling.

It mocked me.

It was something happy looking - the shining of the chair in the sunlight - in a dark situation. I stood there, looking at it, just hating it. I walked over to it, picking it up in my hands and throwing it against the wall. It landed to the floor with a loud bang, surely to draw attention - if you could even hear through the metal door. I walked back over the the chair, looking down on it. I started kicking it repeatedly, bending the seat inward. 

Once I finally gave up on the chair, I sat on the edge of the bed, leaning down and gripping my hair with my hands. I screamed, practically ripping hair out of my head. I got up, grabbed the mattress off the bed, then I threw it against that stupid chair. I turned back, picking up the light, rust-covered frame of the bed, then threw it into the middle of the room, eliciting an even louder bang.

I just stood there afterwards, staring at the frame. I picked it up again, throwing it back into the corner where it had originally been. As I let go of it, the rusted metal cut my hands, making me scream as pain spread throughout my hand. I held my hands out in front of me, staring at the blood running down my fingers.

I kicked the bed frame out of my way slightly, then I slid down against the wall, curling up in the corner, just staring at the wall across from me as tears made their way to my eyes. I hid my head in my lap, gripping my hair again as I sobbed. I ran my hands over my face, leaving trails of blood on my forehead and cheeks. 

I've gone insane.