"Dear Hiatus..." (Sequel to A Living Hell) // Fall Out Boy

There's No Second Guessing (Joe's POV)

*Possibly triggering*

GUYS I AM SO SORRY. I hate the fact that I haven't updated this freakin' story in over a month. There's no excuse for it, but I'm so sorry. Please, don't hate me. I really like this story actually, and I'd hate for my lovely readers to stop reading it because I'm basically incapable of updating. I hope you'll still read this, and I hope you like this chapter. Please, give me feedback on it, I'd really appreciate it <3

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"Joe!" Courtney's voice rang throughout the room that I called prison.

I jumped, turning my head towards the heavy, metal door. Courtney walked in, her heels clacking against the floor again. My heart started beating faster as she grew closer, my eyes met hers and they pierced my soul again. She kneeled down beside me, laying one hand on my shoulder, making me wince in pain. She gave me a weird look, the lifted my shirt sleeve gently, which caught me off-guard.

"Joe," she said again, almost sounding sympathetic.

She ran her hand up my arms, her fingers running over the small ridges created by the cuts. She looked at me again, then returned her gaze to my arm. She gently lifted my other sleeve as a single tear fell down my cheek. She analyzed the cuts on that arm too, a more saddened look appearing on her face.

"Look, Joe," she said, carefully pulling my sleeves down. "I know this is my fault," she sighed. "I-I'm sorry," she said. "I know I haven't been the nicest to you guys, but I've got to keep you here. I can't let you go, not now. But look, I'll get one of my girls to clean you up, okay? And here, take this," she said, handing me something. "It's a journal. I'd much rather you write down your feelings then do that to yourself, please. This is just for your eyes, I promise you I won't look at it. I know you won't believe me, but it's true," she continued talking.

"I-I believe you," I said, making her look at me again.

"Good," she said. "Alright, just wait here and I'll send one of my girls down to clean you up," she started walking out of the room.

I sat in the corner of the room, where I had been for days now. I hadn't moved at all, so I wasn't going to move now. Courtney actually looked and sounded sincere. Could she actually have meant all that she said? I wasn't sure, because she wasn't exactly someone I trusted, but just now, she looked like the actually felt guilty, felt as though she was to blame.

I'd say she was to blame, but she's ultimately not. I was the one who did that to myself. In my head, it's her making me do these things to me, but I know my head's not clear right now. Hell, I've gone insane, I'm fucked up. I knew I couldn't handle this again, but as of right now, I'm handling a lot better than I thought I would, even though it may not seem like it.

All I keep thinking about are the guys; are they okay? Has she done anything to them? And what about LOLO and New Politics? Did Courtney hurt them? I'm not sure, I'm not sure of anything anymore. All I know is that I want to get out of here, I want to see Andy, I want all of our lives to go back to normal.

As I kept thinking about everything under the sun, my thoughts were interrupted by footsteps coming into my room. It was one of Courtney's helpers, and she had a small white box in her hand. She gave me a small smile, but I didn't return it. She got on her knees beside me, then gently lifted my sleeves up. I winced slightly again, and she apologized.

She turned a little and grabbed something out of the little white box, then returned to me. She told me it was something to help clean the cuts up, to get all the dirt out. She said it'd sting a little, then put the small wipe to my arm. I winced in pain at the stinging that spread up and down my arm. She kept apologizing, saying that she didn't mean for it to hurt. I kept telling her that it wasn't her fault, it was mine.