"Dear Hiatus..." (Sequel to A Living Hell) // Fall Out Boy

A Few Minutes More (Joe's POV)

I didn't sleep a wink last night. I didn't want to, nor could I. I was way too paranoid about Courtney coming in here while I was asleep and doing something to me. I'm still paranoid about it, actually. All I did last night was stay in the same corner I'm in right now, just thinking; over thinking, really. As soon as I started to doze off just slightly, I scared myself awake by either screaming or nearly having a panic attack. People may think I'm overreacting to all of this, but once you've been through what I went through, you're really never ever going to be the same.

The image of my wife - my dead wife - just laying there in the totalled van on the side of the woods sticks with me every day, kills me inside. I can still feel her in my arms sometimes, and I see myself looking down at her for the last time, just staring at her long, brown hair, stroking her cheek as my tears landed on it.

I'm surprised I even made it past that day. The guys should have just left me back by the van, left me there to die. It would have been for the best, really, because I really have nothing to live for anymore. Of course, I love the fans and the guys, but now I don't even have any of them; all I have now is myself, and as of right now, I'm not even sure if I can trust myself.

I refuse to move from this corner. I'm still behind the bed frame I threw repeatedly last night. I guess it's something to protect me. If I get into the right position, I can't see the door, I can't see the window, and when it's the right time of day, I can't see the fucking sun shine through that fucking window. I honestly hate that window right now. It's so close, yet so far, really. I can't reach it, but if I could, I could escape; I could get the hell out of here and go get help to save everyone else.

Sadly, it's not as easy as it seems. I wish it were, but it's not. I know I have no choice other than to sit here, hour after hour, day after day, and by the sound of it, possibly even month after month. I'll surely go insane - that is, if I haven't already. It's inevitable, honestly.

"Oh, Joe!" her voice rang into my ears, making me go completely still. 

Courtney soon walked in, leaving the large, metal door open behind her. He six inch, black heels tapped along against the floor; tap, tap, tap, tap - until she finally reached me. She stood behind the bed frame, her hands on her hips, her eyes piercing mine as I stared up at her, shaking with fear. A smirk grew on her face, which meant she was definitely up to no good.

"Sleep well?" she asked.

"I-I didn't sl-sleep at all," I stuttered out, not being able to run my words together correctly.

"Oh, too bad," she said, moving her leg and kicking the bed frame away from my slightly.

She walked closer; tap, tap, tap, tap - until she was right next to me. My breathing hitched, fear filled my entire body. Courtney leaned down, getting on her knees, getting within a foot of me. I let out little breaths, them being hitched as well as I just stared at her. 

"Look," she said, actually sounding somewhat sincere. "I know you're having a rough time right now, so I'm going to let you see someone," she said, clearing her throat as I allowed my mind to flood with images of Andy. God, I hoped and prayed and it was Andy. "Sound good?"

"Y-Yeah," I stuttered out again.

She cleared her throat once more as she stood up. He heels tapped against the floor once again as she walked back over to the door. I could hear her talking, not being able to make out what she was saying, then I heard his voice. 

Andy's voice filled my ears, and for the first time since we've been here, I actually smiled. I was going to see Andy within a few minutes. I'd be able to hug him, kiss him, tell him how much I love him. As much as I wanted to, I still couldn't stand up, though. I was now stricken with excitement; finally being able to see the love of my life.