Sweet Nothing

novem

"I hate you."

I said to him

I lied to ease the tension

laughed at his dumb jokes

until laughter

became smiling and

smiling was lying

which then became crying and

I hated myself for feeling anything for him at all

I tried to quell the emotion

I let the numbness overcome me

but it became this sadness

and introduced me to my own 

self-hatred and

these emotions I hid when

I tried to feel nothing at all

so that I'd stop feeling everything at once

but I only ended up with sadness who

planted his roots in my heart

and grabbed a hold on my soul

He was everything

and then he was nothing

all at once.

- 10:42am