44. Cancer was the first ending

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I'm in pain just writing this. I don't feel ready to end this story. There still are multiple chapters to come but they are like a prologue to the end so I feel like I'm a meter away from the finish line. I'm so glad all you readers have been here with me. :) :(

Now some people might think that I have no right writing about cancer since I haven't had cancer myself. I know multiple people who have battled through it and one that didn't make it. I want to be as respectful as possible. I understand you and respect your opinion if you'd rather me not write this. It's okay to come tell me that. I feel like people who haven't been raped shouldn't write a character going through it. Especially when the writer is 14 years old and in Wattpad writing a love story or Twilight fanfiction and the character gets over the rape in two days or less. I feel truly offended when I read something like that because the writers use the rape as something that makes the character more 'interesting'. And that makes me sick. Things like this shouldn't be dealt with lightheartedly.

***

Superman pov (point of view)

***

My heart was wrenching at the scene in front of me. She was crying while wearing the biggest smile I had ever seen. She looked so torn. She had just come to the realization that this baby would kill her.

Fay was laying on a doctor's table and a nurse had just told us the news... She's pregnant. But... It's too late for us. She has to battle cancer.

"We are going to have a baby." She cried. She was happy and sad at the same time. I truly didn't know which feeling was stronger.

I just stared. She was pale like a ghost, almost translucent. Her cheeks hollowed in and she had dark under eyes. They say sometimes you can't see someone has it. But from Fay you can. You can see it's killing her. That she's a dying woman...

I didn't say a word. I just watcher her cry and talk about the child inside her. She was madly in love. There was a bond between her and the baby since the second she found out it existed.

I took Fay's hand and helped her down from the table, helping her put her jacket on so we could go home.

The whole world was foggy around me. When we arrived home I didn't remember how we got there. Maybe we took a cab or the subway. I wasn't sure. But I hadn't spoken a word.

"This is good." I could hear Fay mumble as I helped her take her jacket off and placed it on a hanger.

I watched her as she placed her hand on her tummy that wasn't even showing yet and cooed something about how much we loved the baby before disappearing to our bedroom to sleep.

I didn't save a single life as Superman that day. While I normally would have left to do my hero duties by now I sat on the sofa and stared at the wall.

That's where Fay found me in the morning.

"Clark? Did you sit there all night?" Fay asked standing at the doorway: "You should have slept." She whispered. "Clark?" She made her way to be and slowly placed her hand on my shoulder.

"We have to let it go." I said. My first sentence since finding out.

"What?" She gasped out.

"We can have a child later. You have to heal and to do that you must give it up."

"No."

***

It didn't make sense to me until the baby was born.

Through the whole pregnancy, we didn't speak much. I watched as cancer killed the thing I loved most slowly. But even with no comforting words, I was there. Holding her, taking her to the hospital, giving her the medication she needed, keeping her warm when blankets weren't enough to shield her from the death shivers.

But when she held our child in her arms she looked happier than ever before. I knew she was in pain but she didn't care. And I took her home.

After that, I was happy too. Because she was happy. Some days she would be too tired to hold our child, she would lay in bed and I would too with the child between us. She was just happy to see us. Together as the family she always wanted.

By the time I lost her I had a plan. I had done it once before to win a battle and now I needed to get a new chance at life with her. So I flew into space and started flying around the earth as fast as possible to the opposite direction than how the earth spun. And I went faster and faster until the world stilled and then changed direction. I was turning back time.

***

So the time turning thing is from a really old superman film: Superman : The Movie (1978) directed by Richard Donner starring Christopher Reeve.

Here is the scene from the movie if you want to watch: 

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