Supernatural Imagines

You Understand, Right?

Part 10 - You Don't Understand

Dean couldn’t believe what was happening.

Y/N took the Colt.

He carefully followed her out of their motel room, and to the hallway. “Where are you going?” he demanded, making her freeze mid-step. She cradled the gun closer against her pounding chest. “Don’t make me ask again- Where are you going with the Colt?” He enunciated each word with a step forward, stopping just a feet behind her. Dean’s heart was beating against his ribs with every step he took closer to her. 

“Crowley needs it,” she responded quietly.

“And do you know what he’s going to use it for?”

Y/N couldn’t answer the question.

“Why would you steal for him?” he asked, his voice low and quiet, hinting at the hurt he was feeling. 

“He said I was the only who could do it.”

“So you stole from your family?!” Dean exclaimed, his voice rising in anger. 

Y/N whipped around with fire in her eyes that Dean had never seen before. “You are not my family. You chose your family, Dean, and it was clear that I wasn’t one of them.”

“You are! I thought I proved myself to you,” Dean’s voice faltered at the end. He actually thought he had slightly redeemed himself in the past month in her eyes. Though, he would never forgive himself for failing her, he thought he had at least succeeded in getting her to trust him again.

“Crowley said you would do that. He said you would try to gain my trust back, and then sacrifice me for your benefits. He said you’ve done that before.”

“Why the hell do you believe what he says? He’s a demon for God’s sake!”

“Because he never lied to me, Dean! He never broke a single promise! He may be a demon, but I trust him more than I trust you,” she spat.

“So you lied to me. All those times- all those nights we spent- Was that you just playing with my feelings? So I can feel sorry for you?”

She wished she could say yes, but she shook her head. “No, Dean. They weren’t lies.”

“Then, why? Why are you still doing this?”

“Because he promised me a life outside of the rack- a life where I won’t be in hell or be tortured anymore. He said he can give me a new life.”

“Do you know what this new life is?”

When she didn’t say anything, he continued.

“He’s going to turn you into a demon, Y/N,” Dean said coldly. “This new life you’re going to have is a life of a demon. And do you know what happens when you’re a demon?” 

He took a step forward as he talked, moving to stand in front of her. Despite her strong will, she was shaking under his gaze, and unable to meet his eyes. 

“You’re going to turn into a shell of the person you used to be. You’re going to turn into someone with no morals. No feelings. No nothing. You’re going to lose yourself. You’re going to lose your soul. You’re going to lose your spirit. You’re going to lose everything. Once you lose everything, you’re going to start hurting people. You’re going to hurt everyone close to you. You’re going to hurt strangers. You’re going to hurt innocent people. You’re going to become a monster. That’s what happens when you get your new life. And you know why I know all of this?” Dean held her chin, and lifted her face up to look him in the eyes. “Because he once promised me the same thing.”

Y/N looked up at him with unshed tears. Her heart was torn. She didn’t know who to believe.

“That shit doesn’t leave you, Y/N. And I’m not going to let you ruin your life like that. No matter what you think, I care about you- I love you, and I want to protect you.”

Dean carefully brought the hand holding the Colt between them, making her look down at their joined hands.

“But you told me that I had the choice to choose my family… So I’m choosing you. I’m not going to be making decisions for you- I’m going to trust you because you’re family. And if you want to give this to Crowley- if you think he can be trusted with this, then I won’t stop you. So, go ahead.” He took her other other, and placed it on top of the Colt. He leaned forward, and placed his lips on her forehead. “I won’t be angry. I’m not going to hate you. Because you’re family, and that’s what we do. We make mistakes, but we forgive, and we stand by each other no matter what.”

He took a few steps back, leaving Y/N with tears streaming down her face. She held the Colt with shaking hands, and despite her legs feeling like lead, she moved past Dean. He let his head hang with sadness as he heard her footsteps getting farther and farther away, a tear making a streak down his cheek as he realized he failed in protecting Y/N again.