Nothing But Trouble

08/early bird feels like sh*t

ch8: early bird feels like sh*t
blake ren

        It was 7 o'clock on a Sunday morning. The sun had just risen, birds were singing, signs were being flipped to Open in the shops and cafes along the peaceful quiet streets of downtown. And I was planning Lucas's slow and extremely painful death that will be in front of everyone he loves.

        "Okay so I want these posters at the places you think we'd interest people. And know what that means Ren. I vow to make your life hell if you purposely put these up for the wrong crowd," he threatened, narrowing his eyes into an accusatory glare.

        "You've woken me up at the crack of ass to do this, I think you've already accomplished making my life hell." To further prove my point, my face muscles got overpowered by an obnoxious yawn.

        "Then it's settled. Hand these out, ask different restaurants and stores to advertise our posters, staple them to telephone poles, you know what to do."

        I lazily shooed him off with a wave of my hand, humming mhm's for a response before moving towards the first telephone pole that was about to get stabbed. Lucas disappeared down the sidewalk without a goodbye, let alone a thank you, and I tiredly got to work.

        KaCHUNK

        I skipped a couple poles to make sure it wasn't one after another then found my next victim.

        KaCHUNK

        I handed out a few posters to people zombie walking on the sidewalks to get their morning dose of serotonin or, I mean, coffee. I felt similarly as they grabbed the band flyer from me, not even really registering what they were doing as they kept moving towards the one thing they cared about.

        I crossed the street in the middle of traffic, getting to the other side and continuing my assault on wooden telephone poles at random.

        When I felt like I was going to snap from the boredom and call Lucas to tell him to suck a monster dildo and that I was going back to bed, I had to remind myself what I was doing this for. I didn't even care about the answers for this week anymore. The quiz would be easy if it's the first one. But I can't skimp out on it now because I need the other answers later for the rest of the year. If I bail he'll appoint someone else as his little helper and I'll have to actually pay attention in Physics since I'll no longer be considered for that position.

        "Hey, come see Suntide at the Blue Pigeon this Saturday." I smiled and shoved the flyer in the direction of an innocent local. They ignored me and I dropped my hand for half a second before it was shooting back up to shove the same piece of paper in the face of the next person passing by.

        My smile had disappeared by the time the twentieth stranger had ignored me and my customer service skills were deteriorating faster than I could say 'Hey come see Suntide at the Blue Pigeon this Saturday'.

        "Suntide playing this Saturday."

        "Come see Suntide."

        "Live music, asshole."

        "Hey fuck you lady!" I yelled when some middle aged woman took one look at the flyer I handed her and crumpled it up in a ball to throw at the trashcan. Key word at not in.

        I stomped over to where the crushed up paper ball was and crouched down to pick it up. Stupid asshole coffee drinkers. I huffed and grabbed the rest of the trash that was already on the ground because fuck the planet right? People could be such shit-heads. Like why not just close your eyes and guess where it lands if that's basically what you're already doing.