Nothing But Trouble

15/fragments of light

ch15: fragments of light
lucas kingston

        My eyelids were sliding down over my eyes, desperate and tired for some sleep, but I just couldn't. I hated this. I hated this, I needed to see her.

        I could just check on her. I rubbed a hand down my face and the only noise that filled the air was Uncle Tommy's soft snoring. He did not let me sleep on the bed, instead I got an air mattress with no sheets and a thin pillow from the depths of his closet that smelled of mothballs. The blow up mattress squeaked like a balloon every time I moved an inch so I've just been laying on my back, staring up at the green dot of light on the smoke detector and trying to not breathe too deeply.

        I can resent a person as much as I want but no one deserves what's happened to Blake Ren.

        As the million of thoughts racing through my head became a bitch to ignore, I got off the bed from the floor and quietly crept to the door. I slowly turned the door knob, wincing when it clicked, and pulled it open to reveal the living room. I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw her standing in the dark.

        "Lucas?" she asked, her voice hoarse from crying. Listening to her cry while I was in the bathroom was like a knife twisting itself deeper with each sob. The tears were long gone, but now there was a cold empty look on her face in its place.

        "I'm just getting some water," I lied.

        From what I could see in the dark, she nodded her head and sat back down on the couch. We could see each other due to the lights from outside that never turn off at night seeping through the lines in the blinds. They stretched across the coffee table between us, running along the wood as bent fragments of light, a barrier we can see but can't touch.

        I think that's how it has always been between Blake and I, a line dividing us apart that we both know is there and that if we touch it our fingers will go right through it but that doesn't mean either of us can get to the other side. We will always be divided in that way. And maybe we were the ones who drew the line.

        I put a cup under the running tap water and shut it off when it filled halfway. I stayed in the kitchen for a moment longer. Just walk by, say goodnight, and go to bed. You laid eyes on her. You know she didn't disappear in the middle of the night. Your mind should be at ease, you can finally try to get some sleep.

        I took an encouraging deep breath and walked back through the living room. I had almost reached the door that was left ajar but Blake's voice was stopping me.

        "Lucas." This time as she said it there was a hardness to it that made me freeze in my tracks.

        "Yeah?" I turned to face her.

        "Tommy said you wouldn't tell anyone and I believe him." My eyes had better adjusted to the darkness and I could faintly make out the bold features of her face. She was looking at me with recognizable bravery.

I paused and when she didn't follow up with another sentence I pushed back the frown and nodded. I wanted to tell her I wanted to help her. I wanted to tell her a lot of things, I'm sorry being one of them. Let's go to the police and get his ass thrown in jail. Blake wasn't exactly my friend, though, and I couldn't picture a reaction other than frustration or defensiveness coming from her. Maybe she'd react differently. But tonight wasn't the time to test the waters. I spat out the words I chose instead.

"Your stepdad is a piece of shit."

She snorted softly then nodded her head in agreement. "A hot boiling pile of shit."