When You Realize You've Become 'That Mom'...and What Comes Next

9

She cocks her eyebrow at me in that way that she does to let me know she isn't happy with me. These past few months have been a challenge. I know that she hired me because she felt like she had to yet I also know that she would fire me if she could get away with it. The big bosses love me though. I bring in business and business is good. 

"Cathy!" she beckons.

I roll my eyes, she doesn't see it but I wish just a little that she had. "Yes?" I ask with my 'I want to make you happy' voice.  

"I need you to do a walkthrough of the building." She stated with a firm resolve as her short blond hair swayed in the wind. Her blue eyes bore into me, threatening me, waiting with bated breath for me to say or do something that she could use against me. Ever since I chose Charlie her and I have been strained. 

Our husbands are best friends though and it is for that reason that this is where I am working. Here, with her, Mrs. Mean Girl and her rotten twins. I know that she doesn't need me to walk the building but I honestly don't care because I enjoy these walks. She just doesn't know it. For me, getting out of that office is a reprieve. Standing in front of the office doors with the cool breeze hitting our faces reminds me of how much I dislike her. 

She hovers over my small frame with her large 5'9" stature. I stand at a mere 5'3" so when she stands over me if feels like she is trying to intimidate me with her height. I ignore the agitated feeling growing in my chest and I opt to quietly agree to this mundane task for the sake of my husband and my son. 

"Sure" is all that I say as I turn around and start to walk towards the building.

"Bring the kids with you!" she calls to me. Bitch. I take a slow deep breath to calm my nerves.

"No problem," I mutter as I turn back around and head towards the office to collect her two terrors. My child was already standing beside me. Chris was a good kid, unlike those two demon seeds. 

"Come on Chris, let's go get the boys," I say softly to him. He looks up at me with wonder in his eyes and I swear it melts my heart. He is such a good kid. I am really an amazing mom. I feel a sense of pride well up within me at this thought. I take his hand and lead him inside. 

Her eyes bore into the back of my head. She wants to say something but she can't. She knows that her kids are terrors. She knows that I am a better mother than she is. I bet she feels shame and she should. I am better than she is after all. Yes, Chris is a testament to my amazing mom skills. Isn't he?

Surely it can't be that some children are more naturally prone to good behavior than others. Naturally, it must be my amazing parenting skills that have created this little miracle that is my son. Look at how closely he stands next to me. Watch in awe at how quiet he is. 

Isn't it incredible the way he stays right next to me at all times? Yes, watch him closely. He remains beside me. I don't even have to think about it. He is there.  While the devil twins are running all over the place practically getting hit by passing cars, my Chris is walking quietly next to me. 

This isn't lost on Mrs. Mean Girl as she stares at me when she doesn't think I notice. Her face contorts into a scowl. As we fade into the building to the security of the metal doors I breathe in deeply. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath. She gets under my skin and I don't know why.

Old Cathy would never have permitted her to get away with this. I silently berate myself for this new-found weakness. If I allow her to control me, what does that say about who I am as a person? She is my boss but maybe it is time that I seek employment elsewhere. I hate her, right?

It must be, it must be hate because what else could it be. It couldn't possibly be that she reminded me of who I used to be and that the sight of her brought my heart despair. It wasn't possible that looking at her was like looking into a mirror that was super tall and blood but...eh, you get the point. 

No way, Mrs. Mean Girl was not the embodiment of who I used to be. She is a terrible person and I was never terrible. People loved and respected me. The things I did were never cruel, not really anyway. It was always me trying to help them to understand their place, nothing more nothing less. I wasn't like her, never have been, never will be.

I was a good person and I was a good mom. If you were to look at Chris you would see how he is sitting quietly drawing now that we have returned from the building walk. How about her kids? Where are they? Oh yeah, that's right, that's them right over them climbing on the couch and climbing up that bookcase "hey! get down from there!" I call out to them. 

"It's dangerous!" I cry. Those two demon monsters look over at me as though I was speaking Spanish. Do they need me to speak Spanish to them? For the love of God..."Get down!" I scream.

Oh Lord, she heard me. "What's going on?" She asks as her eyes scan over the room. Her demons jump off the bookcase and stand in front of her. 

"Nothing," they say in unison. Rotten kids.

She turns towards me. 

"They were climbing that bookcase. I was telling them to get off because it's dangerous." I said flatly.

"They're fine," she says with exasperation. "I've secured those shelves so if they want to climb it, that's fine. You don't need to worry about MY kids." she spat out that last bit and I bit my tongue to prevent myself from saying something that one of us might regret.

"Alright," I said drawing out the word to show her how annoyed I was by her statement.

"Charlie is here," she said with disdain. Bitch.

"Great!" I said with as much joy as I could put into a singular word.

I quickly gathered our belongings and we said our goodbyes. 

"By the way," I stopped just outside the door.

"Yes?" she asked with annoyance.

"I'm putting in my 2-weeks notice. I'm starting my new job soon." I said holding back my smile.

"You are telling me now?" She asked.

"Yes, I left the written notice on your desk in your office. I'll see you next time." I said, now smiling widely as I watched her face drop into a scowl. Oh Lord, I loved to see her pissed off. 

I turn around, wave my hand in the air. "Bye!" I call out smiling from ear to ear as Chris and I exit through the door to the waiting Charlie.

Bye bye Mrs. Mean Girl...I guess they never told you that there's more than one way to skin a bitch.