I'm here lying in my bed
Staring up at my string lights
Listing to music
Christmas Eve
Trying not to loose it
As you may know I have so little confidence right now
Well guess what
STORY TIME
yay
Yesterday,12:09
England,my house
We are going out to see my mums friends from America
They haven't seen each other for 11 years
I'm ready to go
Ready for a new experience
So excited-
"Oh could you like put some makeup on those few spots"-mother
Excuse me
"Uh no I'm good"
"Put couldn't you just like put a bit on"-mother
Excuse me
My whole world crumbs
I have been battling with my self confidence in my image for ever
Then finally after years of pain and makeup
I stop worrying I be outgoing I be makeup free
Then
Then
You
Just
Just do this
You may think this is overreacting but
STORY TIME
whooo
I started doing a drama club
Life finally seem to straiten out
I was on a role
We prepared for our performance
"Oh can you gather around make an audience"-mr Freeman
This never happened
Ever
Before
What!
I have serious problems with that
Hell no
We get ready
boom
Lines gone
Messing up on words
Shit shit shit
We stood their as he criticised our performance the one minute snippet may I add
Hands sweating
Legs shaking
Breathing quick
I
I
I need to go
—————————————————————————
It's like the dam holding all my really bad anxiety broke
Ever since if just had these episodes
Be nice Cinderella
Good Cinderella
Nice good good nice
Is what's been playing in my mind except it glitches and my face turns evil and distorted
It's weird
Isn't everything
I hate this
