Dear Wattpad Journal Thing,
I for a little while was actually enjoying myself, I was actually happy today. I actually had forgotten what happy felt like. I was around Lewis, and his family, it was for his sister's grad party and going to college party. I laughed, a lot, and smiled. I had forgotten true happiness, and at this point, only 3 hours later I feel worse than before and I am crying.
I just feel like crap again. Depression.
Speaking of depression, I found this post on tumblr that has really affected me the last couple of days. There is a picture but I can't get pictures on here, so I will type it and then the comment afterward. Okay? Okay.
Picture:
If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the earth would still rotate, the seasons would still change... So why not?
The comment:
Fuck this.
Fuck this post so much.
Do not tell me
you’re best friend
would not sit in at your lunch table
for three fucking days
just staring blankly at your old seat
wishing that you were there
to fill the space with laughter.
Do not tell me
your younger brother
would not break down
in the middle of class
because you guys started talking about
your favorite type of subject
in school.
Do not tell me
your mother
would not stare into the mirror
with trembling lips
wishing she could be
bringing you home from the hospital
rather than having to escort you away
in a casket to the nearest graveyard.
Do not tell me
your father
would not begin working
the night shifts
to distract himself
of the silence at home
because you’re not up
until the ungodly hours of the night
talking to what’s-his/her-face
on the phone
because you guys are so in love.
Do not tell me
your boyfriend/girlfriend
would not go into your room
and put on the last hoodie you wore
trying to desperately imprint
your sent onto their skin
so they never forget your smell.
Do not tell me
your friends
