Midnight Love || ✔️

11:56 pm

xix || nineteen

ELLA'S FATHER was furious that his daughter's . . . situation was kept a secret from him the last time. Three years ago.

The girls were excellent actresses and lairs, and were able to keep the secret from him for nearly two weeks. It was summer, and they didn't have to worry about school.

He wasn't mad at Ella. Or Rose. Ella thought he might be mad at their mother. At the situation. At himself.

Yusuf Ali came into Ella's room when he finally extracted the truth from Rose, after she fumbled her way through an excuse as to why Ella hadn't been able to come down for dinner for three nights in a row. Ella remembered how he held her close, as if he just wrapped his arms around her tight enough it might transfer his love to her and make her better. He took her to a doctor. She got prescribed with anti-depressants and started to see a therapist.

Ella took the pills up until a few months ago. Up until Noah.

Noah.

The name cut through the fog of her brain, scattering the mud like ashes in the wind. Like how she wished the ashes of her mother might scatter in the wind.

Oops, she's not supposed to think like that, was she?

But Ella was tired. She was tired of her life, of the way she was. It all started with her, with her mother, the woman who was supposed to take care of her. She was the one that ruined her, that reduced her to this.

Ella's anger surged, burying all thoughts of Noah and their time together. She had silenced her phone and ignored it completely for the past week, and she was pretty sure it was dead now anyways. She knew he was calling and texting, but she couldn't imagine having to actually respond. And the thoughts that came into her mind, angry, bitter thoughts, scared her enough to keep the phone away from her. Noah was good, his friends—her friends—are good. They cared. They texted and called and asked after her.

They cared.

Noah came to her door. Rose told her. She also told her about how he asked about her at school. Rose told her that she asked him to leave her alone.

Ella wasn't sure that was what she wanted, but she was also afraid. Afraid of how he would react if he found out about this. She didn't want to show this side of her because it was so broken, so imperfect. She couldn't handle exposing herself like this. To be that vulnerable . . . it made her bury herself deeper into her blanket. He could never know.

Ella found herself often thinking about the events from three years ago. She had kept the memories suppressed as to not break, but since she was already down, she had no energy to keep going, to fight them off. They swarmed her, and she replayed them over and over until she could get through it without tears, and then without any hint of sadness. Until all she could feel was anger.

◯●◯●◯●◯

Three Years Ago

Ella Ali was only thirteen years old when she stood in front of her mother and begged her not to leave her.

The girls had just gone on summer vacation, and as it was, they are excited. They had two months to do nothing but enjoy the sunshine and break from school. They were going on vacation, too. They had big plans. It was going to be a memorable summer.

And it was. Just not in the way they expected it to be.

It was only two weeks into the vacation when the girls woke up one morning to the sounds of their parents fighting. At first, Ella rolled her eyes, and grumbled about them picking a time when she wasn't asleep to deal with their business. But as she slowly woke up, she started hearing the words being shouted and her heart dropped to her stomach. She bolted from her bedroom, and saw that Rose was already out of her room, her expression stricken.