Kairos |An Itachi Uchiha Story|

xxii. your crimsons

"How long is this trip going to be again?!" Shisui complained loudly to which Itachi side-eyed his best friend in annoyance.

"Long. We run straight through the daylight and only rest at night." Itachi gave the information in an even monotone, glancing at the dark-haired girl who stared at the sky blankly. She was watching the sky nose first with her head in the clouds. Aiko looked more and more distracted with every passing moment. Her amber eyes were glazed over and he could not tell if her eyes were filled with too much emotion or lacked all emotion.

She had been silent since they left the village. Itachi witnessing her emotional parting with his younger brother understood part of why she was so quiet. He only understood because he knew his turn was coming and he's been trying to prepare himself the moment he came to terms with it.

Watching her try to convince Sasuke she was not leaving forever and watching him cry anyway. He knew that he would not have the luxury of having gentle final words, sad embraces, and longing tears when he would leave Sasuke.

He watched her fake soft closed-eyed smile break. Only lonely tears remained the moment his little brother wrapped his small arms around Aiko. He felt an ache as he realized it was all really happening.

She was leaving.

She was leaving him and everyone.

She had just become so important to his life.

He had just realized that there were parts inside of him that existed and grew at her presence. He had realized that there was a faint connection that warmed his bleeding heart. He felt himself grow curious toward the idea that maybe the warmth was mutual. That her slow-flowing heart could maybe feel as much as he felt when she was around. That he was not the only one left confused and aching. That he was not by himself with his odd and incomprehensible feelings. Hoping there was an explanation. Hoping he was not alone. Hoping desperately she would come back and not leave him to rot in the dark loneliness that has been eating him all his life. The darkness that seemed to slow when her ambers cooled his onyx eyes. When her warm presence began to melt the cold.

He wondered if he was alone again.

He knows she promised to return for Sasuke but he was still filled with doubt. He could not expect to carry out his will just because he asked. What if she decided she did not want to come back? Her family was in Amegakure...

Why would she bother returning?...

He snapped back to reality and glanced at her attire. Shisui was surprised to see her in an Anbu uniform this morning but he did not seem to want to ask about it. White arm and legs guards with a dark bodysuit were clasped to her body, and Itachi tried not to feel sick at the idea that she was held to the same natured missions he had been.

"But seeing that we spent most of today leaving the village and getting some supplies, it would be even longer." Shisui sighed dramatically, deciding to be the usual comedic relief during the most dreary missions. Including this one which seemed particularly sad.

Her chest ached and throbbed for days. She grieved for a day and spent the night with tired eyes. Every step felt like she was tugging her heart across the ground. She felt a small hatred threaten her when she spoke to the snake that night, agreeing to come home. She felt her anger spill into her stomach like a hot tea making her blood rush before it slowed in the wake of her untamed grief.

She grieved a part of herself that will be lost in the memories of a place she had temporarily thought of as home. Losing the friends she had made and grew attached to over the span of the last few months. Her heartaches.

She felt like she could fall apart at any moment and she tried to remind herself she was coming back. That they were not going to suddenly forget her. But fear causes irrational thoughts to return no matter how much they don't make sense.