Harley and joker

Memories

After 1 hour you and everyone else made it to Camarillo Cali and met up at the hide out. It was a spacious 5 bedroom home that was made in the 90's and you loved it but you hated when he would have to flee to this particular hide out. Camarillo always left a bad taste in your mouth, mostly from the memories that replayed in your mind every time you came back.

Camarillo was a point where nafla had you going down hill so much that you weren't sure you would even recover. A lot of times you just pushed everything in the back of your mind so you wouldn't have to deal with it. Every time you remembered the horrible events that took place you'd cry for hours and hours. It was hard to confront those bad moments in that point of your life.

"Let's get out and rest" Nafla said parking the car and turning it off. It was 2 in the morning but you didn't even care considering your sleeping pattern was always thrown off track. You woke up bloo and got out of the car after that with a stretch, walking to the entrance with nafla.

"Go to sleep when you get inside. I'll be gone for two days I have some business I gotta take care of" he told you before placing a sweet kiss on your lips to which you returned. No words were said after that despite you wanting to ask him questions but you knew nafla wasn't the type to answer them. All he was going to do was get annoyed and have an attitude with you trying to pry into his business.

You did just what he told you like the obedient girl you were and went to his room laying down on his bed.

These days it seemed like you and nafla only saw each other for a short period of time then he was gone again. It has been a chaotic time period for the gang so you couldn't blame him but a lot of times you craved his attention and love.

You knew he was bad for you but you were too addicted to turn away from him. You loved this man with every bit of your body. He was just so toxic though and you couldn't wrap your finger around it. Was he so damaged he felt the need to do it to other people? It was almost like a demon lived within him and thrived off of dismantling the lives of other people.

But he also had that other side. When he wasn't nafla and was Nicholas Choi it made you fall in love with him all over again. Nicholas was the person you fell in love with and grew close with. Nicholas was the vulnerable boy hidden under his mask.

Your eyes wondered around for awhile as you looked around the room, memories flooding back to you. From out the corner of your eyes you saw the vanity you used to use, the lights from it illuminating the room. Lifting your body up you went to it to turn off but paused when you looked down.

You felt your eyes tear up as you saw the clothes of your future baby still laying neatly on the vanity, completely untouched and still intact.

It still hurts like hell. The loss of a child always hurts.

droplets of tears fell down your face as you closed your eyes, not wanting to look at the reminder of your lost daughter. Eventually you opened them back up and felt your heart break into pieces. Nafla kept everything you had bought. He kept the ultrasounds, onesies, socks, everything. You had to bite back the sobs that came out as you touched and looked at every article of what belonged to your baby that didn't come.

It was about 2 years ago. You had got pregnant but lost it because of the stress you were going through.

Nafla beating you almost every day contributed to it also. He was a pure monster when he found out you were pregnant. You suffered so much abuse it was unbearable. You deserved it though. It wasn't even his child so he had every right. As disgusted as he was with what was inside of you he still let you keep the remaining things for your sweet angel.

Around that time bloo wasn't allowed to be with you whatsoever. Nafla had his crew men sent him to Las Vegas to be "re taught" what loyalty and betrayal meant.

When bloo came back you weeped for him. He looked like he had been through hell and back but it was a relief to see he was still alive. It was almost as if he was on the brink of death though and you did everything you could to nurse him back to health.

"y/n we set back out on-" bloo said walking in, but stopping when he saw you crying and rummaging through your baby's things. He walked over to you and hugged you from behind looking at the two of you in the mirror, his fingers coming up to wipe your tears away.

"It hurts me too. That's why I hate coming here. This house deserves to burn down with nafla in it" he said to you with resentment

"Don't say that. We were both wrong bloo. I should have never cheated on him with you" you said to him

"You didn't just cheat, you fell in love with me y/n. He knew he was gonna lose you to me"

"I still betrayed him so badly-" you tried to explain but was cut off

"As if he hasn't done worse to you. Y/n we can still escape and start over, have a child and live life peacefully. All I ever gave you was true and genuine love that you needed because you never got to experience that. I want you to feel what it's like to be loved and cared for. I want you to live the normal life you've always wanted" he told you

"I love nafla. I can't leave him bloo. Even If I didn't love him I'd have no choice but to stay and you know this. The minute I leave he'll hunt me down and kill me" you told him

"You don't deserve this type of life" bloo told you hanging his head

"We all don't but this is the route we took"

Bloo's hands touched your stomach as he closed his eyes, holding you close to him. You melted into his embrace, the two of you enjoying each other's warmth.

"I'll never get over you. I'll always love you" bloo said

"I'll always love you too" you replied