"Tony. No." James Rhodes stared at the four people squashed together on the couch. He had had a feeling in his gut the whole way to Tony's house. It had been correct too.
"But Honeybear. They're so cute." Tony gushed playfully. "Look at this cute face." He pinched the girl's cheeks as she sat in Tony's lap.
"I bite." Kayla kept an entirely straight face as she said it, turning to nip Tony's fingers jokingly.
"Kinky." Tony snickered, keeping his fingers where they were.
"Do NOT encourage her." Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and looking at James Rhodes. "I am so sorry about her... She's not normal."
"Says the one who folds his and Bucky's underwear." Kayla quipped, snuggling into Tony. "I'm keeping Tony. He's cute and I wanna keep him, yes?"
"No." Steve put his face in his hands. "We cannot keep him."
"You're terrible." Bucky laughed in amusement. He was down for keeping Tony if it made Kayla happy.
"No one is keeping Tony." Rhodey sat in a chair. "Who are you people?"
"Kayla. Kayla Crane. Friendly neighborhood Roman/Greek Goddess at your service." Kayla smiled broadly.
"Captain Steven G. Rogers." Steve introduced himself properly. He was a stickler for proper introductions.
"Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes." Bucky finished off the introductions. He had a small smile playing around the edge of his lips.
"Don't let Bucky lie to you. He's Bucky-Bear." Kayla hummed.
"No. Not unless you wanna die." Bucky glared at his girlfriend, flicking her forehead.
"Bucky-Bear..." Rhodey mouthed to himself while Tony cackled.
"Sergeant Bucky-Bear reporting for duty." Tony made a joke, squeezing the girl in his lap. "How did you end up in my lap?"
"I don't entirely know." Kayla blinked. "I can move."
"C'mere, Doll." Bucky stole his girlfriend from Tony, planting a kiss in the crook of her neck.
"Not in front of the others! That's impolite." Steve scolded. "I'm sorry about their actions."
"Dude, it's fine." Tony grinned at Steve and then at Rhodey. "Rhodey and I have seen worse."
"I've seen Tony's bare ass more times than I ever wanted to." Rhodey said dryly, looking resigned. "So where did you come from?"
"Where did you go, Cotton Eye Joe?" Kayla sang out, enjoying puns.
"You're so bad." Steve looked done with life.
"But you love me." Kayla leaned over Tony to kiss Steve's cheek before leaning back.
"Do I? Do I really?" Steve teased before looking at Rhodey.
"I'm Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes of the Air Force." Rhodey introduced himself.
"Air Force, huh?" Bucky clearly had several wisecracks about that in mind but Steve reached behind Tony and smacked the back of Bucky's head. "Fuck, you punk!"
"Behave!" Steve hissed.
"You two are toddlers." Kayla spoke primly, crossing one leg over the other.
"You just were making dad jokes, hypocrite." Tony protested, poking her cheek and then smiling at Rhodey. "Can we keep them?"
"Fine... But you get to explain to the government where they came from." Rhodey gave in.
"But why do I have to explain?" Tony tilted his head, pouting adorably. He hated explaining to the government. He already had to go to a hearing about his technology but to add this on to it? It was madness.
"Because you want to keep them... What does Pepper think?" Rhodey was not happy about this but he'd go to bat for Tony any day. Even against Pepper Potts.
"She says we'll talk about it when she gets here after her meeting." Tony flashed a smirk.
"Oh god. Don't get snarky with her. You know better." Rhodey warned his best friend, worried for Tony's health.
"I like the sound of this Pepper Potts." Kayla smirked at Tony.
"Oh no... Now there's TWO of them. They'll both be running my life." Tony groaned plaintively.
"Damn right." Kayla wasn't even sorry.
"Language!" Steve protested at the curse word.
"Run while you still can." Bucky joked. "She'll be folding your UNDERWEAR."
"Bucky... I don't fold yours or Steve's underwear... Just my own. Weird man child." Kayla flicked his nose.
"ANYWAYS." Rhodey cut off the squabble. "Does this happen often? Magic deities saving National Icons and their long thought dead best friends?"
"Only if the icons are attractive. Kidding. I'm just very tenderhearted according to my fellow gods and goddesses. They don't usually allow themselves to be involved with human affairs even if their demigod children are involved. Preeeetty much any major conflict has demigods involved." Kayla explained. "The Civil War and both World Wars had demigods involved. Mostly Greeks and Romans fighting each other. This is why the two are usually separated. Also, our Greek and Roman aspects usually cannot co-exist at the same time. I'm an anomaly besides Aphrodite/Venus. We stay the same either way."
"You never told us your godly name though." Bucky recalled, looking at her curiously.
"Why does it really matter?" Kayla countered.
"I'm honestly just curious now." Steve gave her his best puppy eyes and she also sighed in a way similar to Rhodey.
"Katune... Goddess of Children, Family, and Childbirth." Kayla gave in, looking tiredly at them. "I don't often come around humans. Steve and Bucky are the humans I've spent the longest with."
"Huh... That's awesome." Tony was a bit dumbfounded, staring at her. "Does that mean you're really fertile?"
"TONY!" Both Steve and Rhodey yelled Tony's name at the same time. Kayla just giggled slightly.
"Yes... Yes it does..." Kayla admitted it. "Which means in the future case of any sexual intercourse, we must use contraceptives such as condoms."
"I cannot believe that just came out of your mouth." Steve was very red, covering his face again.
"Aw, Stevie. I'm sorry." Kayla apologized. "We'll stop talking about. Right?"
"Yeah. Of course." Bucky agreed, knowing better than to argue. He didn't want Steve to get upset.
"Miss Potts has pulled into the driveway." JARVIS warned and everyone stared at the door in horrified (or in Kayla's case, Gleeful) anticipation.
YOU ARE READING
Deity
FanfictionWhat if Steve was saved from the ice before he froze fully? What if his savior was a literal goddess who could save Bucky too?
