Deity

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“Anthony Edward Stark! Explain!” Pepper was the same color as a red pepper. Her lips were pressed in such a thin line that they had practically disappeared.

“Oh, I like her already.” Kayla whispered in Bucky's ear, looking amused as Pepper scolded Tony. She adored that there was attempts to take care of Tony.

“No, you cannot keep her.” Steve warned his girlfriend, sliding into Tony's spot that had been forcefully vacated. He pulled Kayla's legs into his lap, resting his hands on them as they watched the three way argument.

“Miss Potts, I have confirmed the identities of Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes.” JARVIS interjected forcefully. He wasn't pleased at the verbal assault on his Creator.

“You have?” Pepper slowed her tirade for a moment.

“Yes, Miss Potts.” JARVIS confirmed. “They are who they say.”

“Oh… Well…” Pepper smoothed her skirt and turned back around to talk to Tony’s houseguests. “Welcome, I guess.”

“Hi.” Kayla grinned. “Kayla Crane, resident deity at your service. Well, depending on what you ask of me.”

Pepper just blinked, unsure of what to think of this young woman. She settled on smiling back and looking at Tony for help. She clearly thought the goddess was insane and not actually a deity.

“Kayla makes badass pancakes that I’m gonna marry her for.” Tony quipped, sitting on Rhodey’s lap at this point. “Right, Sweetcheeks?”

“That’s not up to me. I think Steeb and Bucket would protest the loss of me.” Kayla snickered, cuddling into Bucky more and holding Steve’s hand.

“Steeb?” Steve sounded like he didn’t know whether or not to be offended.

“Bucket?!” Bucky did sound offended, currently having a large pout on his face.

“Well yeah. Steeb sounds like someone saying Steve with a stuffed up nose. Bucket just goes with Bucky.” Kayla shrugged casually and poked Bucky's cheeks.

“Does he… Buck like a bronco?” Tony punned, already having a bajillion jokes in his head.

“Save a horse, ride a cowboy.” Kayla snorted. “Bucky is just a big teddy bear.”

“Who used to be an assassin.” Bucky reminded her. “But I don't do that anymore. Haven't since the 70s.”

“Ah yes. Just before you joined Steve and I. Then we got you to join our relationship and now it's polyamorous.” Kayla grinned, pressing sweet kisses to Bucky's cheek. She adored her boys and she would burn the world down for them.

“So you three are together?” Pepper looked at the trio with a raised eyebrow. She didn't think the unconventional relationship would work.

“Tony’s keeping them.” Rhodey told Pepper, looking a bit tired already.

“Tony! You can't just keep people!” Pepper sighed, punching Tony's shoulder. "That's not legal."

“Why does she sound like Steve?” Bucky looked at Kayla who shrugged. “Didn't we have this same conversation that you couldn't keep Tony?”

“What? I can't help it. He's precious. Look at that cute face.” Kayla pointed at Tony who flashed a grin back at them.

“Oh god. It's a madhouse.” Steve groaned, putting his face in his hands again. He raised his eyes towards the ceiling like he was asking why this was happening.

“Agreed.” Pepper nodded, sitting in a chair and slipping her heels off. It had been a long day and things were messy enough without trying to dissuade Tony from trying to adopt a stray Captain, Sergeant and Deity. Not Pepper's circus, not her monkeys either.

Steve watched Bucky and Kayla bantering with Tony who gave as good as he got. It filled him with a sense of amusement, loving that they were happy and having fun. He could see Rhodey and Tony becoming very close friends to them also.