And My Heart Goes

"Forever"

            Had someone told me that a transparent DL man I'd met in a Planet Fitness locker room would become my lover after I'd been celibate for a year, I would've told them they needed serious psychiatric help. Yet, that's exactly the situation I was in. I woke up with Kwame on my mind and I went to bed with him on my mind. When I wasn't spending time with him, I was talking on the phone with him or texting him. As crazy as it sounds, him being DL added some spice to the relationship that I wasn't expecting. It made me laugh whenever women hit on him while we were hanging out or whenever guys would assume we were just buddies and ask us to play basketball and other games with them. However, him being DL also came with annoying problems.

            "I should've put you on my team," a guy said to me after we'd finished playing a game of touch football in the park. "What's your name again?"

            "Elijah," I told him. "You're Tracen, right?"

            "Yeah. You and your friend come to this park often?"

            "Nah, this is actually our first time coming to this park. We usually work out at parks in the Santa Monica area."

            "Oh, okay." He looked over his shoulder and then moved closer to me and said, "I noticed you uh...checking out my package a few times during the game. Am I picking up on a vibe or am I trippin'?"

            "Well, um..."

            "I'm bi so if you wanna get into something then we can exchange numbers."

            "Elijah, let's roll out," Kwame said as he approached me and Tracen.

            "Okay." I looked back at Tracen and told him, "No thanks."

            He smiled and said, "Alright. Well, if you change your mind then I'm here with my friends every Saturday afternoon." He looked me up and down before running back over to his friends.

            When I looked back at Kwame and noticed the angry look on his face, I asked, "What?"

            He didn't say anything. He just picked up our towels and water bottles and headed towards his car. I followed him. Once we were inside his car, he started it up and turned on the air conditioner. Instead of putting the car in gear; however, he looked at me and asked, "Did that nigga hit on you?"

            "Yes, but I told him no thanks."

            "What made him even approach you? How did he know you're gay?"

            "Kwame, I can't pass as straight to everybody."

            "Nah, that's the first time anybody has automatically assumed outside of the gay parts of L.A."

            "The gay parts?" I laughed and said, "The gays run L.A., baby." When I noticed he wasn't laughing, I got serious and asked, "You're not mad because that guy talked to me, are you?"

            "Were you checkin' him out or somethin'?"

            "I might have looked down a few times during the touch football game. Is that a crime?"

            "Nah, not really. I mean, I still look at women and other dudes but I don't approach anybody."

            "But women do approach you. It happens almost every day. So, I don't know why you're trippin'."

            "I'm not trippin', E. I just don't like how that nigga was all up in ya face smilin' and shit. What the fuck he doin' out here with no draws on anyway? I know that's why you was lookin' at him."