Pay the Sun

Five

The next day, I head to the Dupuy house as usual. I go a little later, more near lunchtime, hoping that Robin will be there.

He isn't.

The container of eggs is still sitting on the roof, where I left it. It doesn't look like anyone's been out here. Usually we leave the roof hatch open for each other, but that was shut like I had left it, too. Either he hasn't been here or he's already left.

I wait for a half of an hour playing around on my phone.

When he doesn't show up, I leave, disappointed.

I go back the day after that, too.

He's not there.

He's not there on Friday, either.

Saturday is no different.

On Sunday, I start to get worried.

Again, he isn't there. He hasn't been there for five days now. Have both of us been coming by at different times and we've just missed each other? Maybe he's gone on a trip that his parents abruptly forced him on. He could just be really busy.

Then, my thoughts start to take a darker turn.

What if Robin hates me? What if he never wants to see me again? What if he's dead, hurt, kidnapped? What if he's now a ghost in the Dupuy building and trying to get my attention, but I can't hear him?

I feel sick.

So, I leave the abandoned building because I can't stand to be in there without Robin. Marge warned me about becoming dependant on someone I haven't known for a very long time, but I can't help it. I'm already attached to him. It's sort of like the time my dad brought a dog home he found out on the streets and we had to keep it for a few weeks until the owner finally came by to pick him up. I got so attached to that dog.

I go through the process of rationalizing my anxieties the way Marge taught me. He may not have just wanted to hang out and that's perfectly okay. I hadn't been out with my other friends for the greater part of the month, but that doesn't mean I hate them. Robin is an introvert and he just might not be up to it.

Take a breath. Focus your energy on hopeful thoughts rather than assuming the worst. Realize there's nothing you can do at this point in time. Now that you've given the worries some attention, you can let them go.

I buy myself a doughnut at the doughnut shop as I pass by.

All I can do is hope that Robin's okay.