Pay the Sun

Six

On Independence Day, I go to the Dupuy house downtown to watch the fireworks. Every year, the city council puts on a firework show, shooting them off over the lake. On the roof, I'm sure I'll have the perfect view.

My mom was going to come with me, but she decided that she'd stay home with the dogs because they always freak out when the fireworks go off. Nanna's been keeping the group chat updated with videos and pictures of the celebrations going on in New York. She's probably being kept up. It's getting close to midnight there.

Here, it's about 8 p.m. and the sun is setting. I wish Tim and Evan were here with me, but they went to this huge Fourth of July party in the town over, which normally would be something I'd enjoy going to. Right now, I'm not feeling very extroverted. I'm fine here, curled up on a rooftop with a giant blanket wrapped around me and a bag of caramel corn by my side.

I hear fireworks going off down the street, the little ones that parents buy for their kids at the pop up stands. I wish I had bought sparklers; that would have been something fun. It might be a little sad to play with by myself, though.

A medium-sized blue and white firework shoots up into the air to my right, one of the illegal ones that people bring in from out of state. It pops in the air and falls down to the ground, sizzling.

I shove a handful of popcorn into my mouth, watching the scattered illegal fireworks begin to get fired off. I grab my bottle of coke and take a swig, yawning a little. I pinch my cheeks. It's not even nine o'clock.

The illegal mortars settle down for the time being, and I hear the discernable squeak of the hatch sound from behind me. My heart jumps in my chest. I immediately pray that it's Robin, but I haven't seen him since the Monday before last. Is it a homeless person, or someone else wanting a place to watch the fireworks? The ghosts, maybe?

I glance behind me, prepared to greet the person. Once I catch sight of them, all the words die on my lips.

I leap up and dart over to Robin, pulling him into the biggest hug I think I've ever given anyone. I wrap my arms around him tightly, burying my cheek into his shoulder. I catch the sound of his startled gasp, then the soft laughter that follows soon after. His arms wiggle out from beneath my grasp and close around me.

"I missed you so much," I whisper, accentuating my words by squeezing him. "I was so worried." I pull away from him, keeping my hands on his upper arms as I scan over him for any obvious injury. Other than the tiredness in his eyes, he doesn't seem hurt. "Are you okay?"

Robin smiles softly at me. He gently puts his hands on my arms, sliding my hands up until he reaches my hands. He grabs hold of them and lowers them, keeping them at his sides.

"I'm fine, Jules," Robin says.

His voice is scratchy, either from lack of use or smoking too many cigarettes, maybe a mix of the two. The words are spoken at a lower volume than most people normally talk at, but I think that's just how his voice is. Immediately, I love the way he sounds.

"Are you sure?" My voice cracks a little.

He nods, taking away his hands from mine. I miss the warmth and want to pull him back, but I'm worried that might be too forward. I think it might be too much for me, anyway. I already feel so overwhelmed.

I take a deep breath, trying to keep myself from crying, but I feel so emotional that I can hardly process it. It's as if all the dark things I was thinking are proven wrong, but now I'm far too aware of how much I care about him.

Sensing my distress, Robin pulls me into another hug. One of his hands rests on the small of my back, while the other winds around my torso, keeping me close. I haven't felt so much like a broken kid for a long time.