I'll Be Okay - Peter Maximoff & David Haller

Theres Nothing Left of Me

He woke with his neck straining and the giant light above him was making him develop a migraine. His wrists ached considering, but so did his entire body. He was still lying on the bathroom floor, but now drenched in his own vomit. He felt his eyes begin to water and let out a disgustingly wet sob as he lied there realizing that he did it, he finally acted on his greatest impulse, and no one even came for him. But it did make this process so much easier because he wasn't disappointing anyone but himself. Why the fuck couldn't he have just died? It would've this so much easier.

He stood up slowly, wobbling over to the mirror and staring at his reflection with hatred pooling into the tired bones of his body. "Fucking hell," He mumbled as his vision tunneled. It felt like he rubbed his eyes too long. The dizziness was making him angry, the anger was starting to make his eyes water and as the time past, he just stared in that mirror, feeling so ashamed of himself, like he couldn't believe he actually tried it, the thing he wanted most and couldn't have. The more time he stared, he really looked at himself. His pale skin with ridges and bumps from past acne, his dull blue eyes that held nothingness in it's pupils, his chapped pink lips, his greasy hair and sinking cheeks. He hadn't realized he'd become so skinny, but then again, he never let himself really look at himself in the mirror like this and he felt his hands start to tremble.

He was so disgusted with what he saw.

a complete failure

a waste of time and space

and so fucking ungrateful.

He lifted his fist and smashed it against the mirror with all the force he could muster and watched it shatter from an almost dissociated point of view. He didn't wanna see himself in the mirror anymore, he couldn't take it, so he kept on punching 'til the reflection was completely gone. He had stopped only after his knuckles started to throb. He tried not to scream as his anxiety was increased with the pain and stepped out of the bathroom into his room.

His headspace became woozy and he didn't know what to do now, but his body felt incredibly sluggish and the bed was calling to him. The light from the curtains was warm, but it was beginning to bother him. His head throbbed as he walked towards the blinds, shutting them with a deep sigh. He took one look at his bed and practically melted into it with pitiful emptiness settling into his stomach. He wrapped the blankets around himself slowly and let his eyes shut manually. This felt like this was the first time in so long he allowed himself to sleep naturally.

​And sleep he did. His mind had finally shut off, and he practically enveloped in thanks at the fact that he was dreamless. He thought if WW3 would happen right now he wouldn't even be able to open a eye, until someone knocked on his door loudly. He was startled waking up, and it was dark now, maybe even too dark for anyone to be awake. He was really fighting the urge to roll over and just ignore it, but his gut instinct screamed at him to answer it.

"Peter? Erik and I would like to have a word with you. Do you mind if we come in?" His eyes shut tight and couldn't help but sigh heavily, he just wanted to drift off again. To sleep in that dreamless dream that protected him from everyone he knew. Maybe it wasn't that late, since they were still up.

"Nah, it's cool." Ew, the sound of his voice made him cringe inwardly and shuffle further into the blankets until he suddenly realized that the bathroom was still a complete mess.

He zipped to close the door but his balance was completely off, but he managed to lock it and run back into his abode of blankets without any trouble. That's when the lock clicked and the door creaked open slightly. There was a bright light behind the door and it illuminated Erik and Charles, but only for a moment. Luckily, it was gone once they had stepped in. Instead he crawled up his bed hesitantly and leaned over to switch his bedside lamp on, he now just stared at the two adults standing in front of him once the light was on. Erik had changed clothes since he last saw him, and so had Charles.