I'll Be Okay - Peter Maximoff & David Haller

Born Into This

Made: April 20, 2019

"Let him go, Erik. I said, step away from him!" Charles couldn't ignore the feeling of how detached he felt from Peter, it scared him but he didn't mean to yell. Erik just stared at him in confusion but slowly released the hold on his son. Peter inhaled shakily as he did so and tried to straighten his body out because he felt constricted, but he could feel Erik's arms still wrapped around him mentally so his heart continued to race.

          Peter closed his eyes for a second, he tried his best to sigh deeply through his nose and not overwork his thought process. His hand trailed to his sleeve, tugging it down slowly over his shaky fingers while doing the same with the next. He looked out the window while trying not to bring too much attention to himself. He hated how the smallest things like them could practically split his mind in two. Peter looked towards the bathroom again and felt his subconscious shift when he saw the glass lying there, like it was waiting for him.

          The thought of it now sounded so terrifying, it was like there this pulsating heat coming from his wrists that made him desperately want to feel it, to see that hot seeping blood flow out of the skin, enticing him to falling asleep, to just let it be over, to let go of everything he's ever cared for because then, he won't have to constantly worry if he's pleasing any of them, or if they're okay, or if he's doing the right or wrong thing, if he's saving everyone from getting hurt because he'll be gone. And so will they . . . eventually, so what's the point in staying here and continuing this constant battle, He's fucking tired and wants to be completely done with everything. The school, other mutants, his physical well being, eating. Everything.

He just needed out. Out of this life. Out of this abhorrent fucking world.

"I need to go." As soon as the words left his mouth, Erik let out a faint strangled sound. When Peter heard him, he became a bit suspicious and turned to look at him with his head tilted. 

"Why are you suddenly so interested in me? I mean, really, y-you . . . you comforted me on the bed, you don't want me to know things like I'm some kid, and now you don't want me to leave? You've never even batted an eye at me until what happened that night, so is it pity? What? Do you feel responsible for apocalypse, because I'm telling you I didn't need you then, and I don't need you now." What is he doing? He's spilled too much, fuck. That wasn't what he intended to say. Erik didn't look surprised like he initially thought. 

"I lost my family, I thought that I could finally get the ultimate revenge by destroying our world and it was selfish, cruel and I didn't think about anyone, not even myself. I had nothing to lose then. I've done a lot of things in my life that I don't regret, and one of them is meeting you, whether you care to know or not, I've always acknowledged you. You saved me from the Pentagon for Christ's sake, saved us all from me in that kitchen, and not to mention you tried to defeat a God." Peter expected resistance, but he felt as if he didn't deserve this. He felt his eyes well up, and he shrunk into himself, sobbing now. Everything about this whole coercing him to stay with them and fight against his thoughts was getting under his skin. He doesn't wanna fight anymore! If anything they're fighting him! Why can't they just let him do what he needs to do? Why is it so difficult for them to accept that he didn't want to live this life anymore?

          Erik sighed in a way that made Peter think was annoyance. But his hands were bawled up. "If you still feel that you need to go . . . you know we can't stop you. But really, I'd prefer that you'd stay . . . please." Erik sounded desperate pleading with him, he genuinely sounded caring. It made Peter be at loss for words looking at him. Why has he changed? It's like his entire way of communicating with Peter just shifted over night. It must be pity. He did just get kidnapped, and now thinking back on it he doesn't remember anything besides the torture. Fuck he feels compelled to ask what happened, but right now, he wasn't exactly all that concerned because he was contemplating the decision of sleeping. There was this tiredness washing over him, and he looked at Charles suspiciously. Peter furrowed his brows, and red hot anger burst through him.