When She Became A Pledis Trainee

CHAPTER 13: SEOUL IS THE KEY

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This is a work of Fiction. Names, characters, places and incidences are either products of the author's imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.

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"Seoul is the key." I tell my parents, my voice strong with certainty.

Months ago, I came upon a poster tacked on the bulletin board in one of our Agriculture buildings. It was an offer for Master's Studies in microbiology. I tucked it inside my memory in case I ever need to seek an opportunity, and here it is. It might be useful after all. I specialize in Plant pathology, specifically in viruses. If I can enroll at the Seoul National University, I might be able to finish my thesis there and train at the same time. One of my fresh grad professors did his undergraduate thesis in Japan, so why can't I finish mine in Korea?

I looked at my parents, pleading.

"I really want this." I said.

"But it is foolishness." My father said, a little bit too loud. "You're not even a hundred percent certain that you'll debut. What will happen then if you can't? It will be such a waste of time and effort. And are you sure you can adjust to their culture? People there are racists and boastful. I'm telling you, the idea that you even want to pursue this is pure foolishness. Are you really this selfish?"

I cringe at his final statement. Tears started welling up. My mother is also against it, but her decisions are fast and always absolute. She always ends it with a challenge.

"Let her be. Let's see if she can handle this the way she said she would, and if she fails, and ends up getting thrown back in the Philippines because she's not good enough for their standards, then at least we all have proof that you really are indeed foolish." My mother challenged once again.

She stands up, leaving me and my father. I looked up at him, wiping away my tears, and we had an eye staring contest. He finally sighed and said "Pursuing your passion shouldn't really be your priority right now. We aren't getting younger by the days, and your brother and sister still needs support for their studies. WE need your support. But you can't even give us that,"

I cried once more. "I don't want to look back on this time of my life, thinking 'What if..'"

"You'll always get to think about the 'What ifs.'" He interjected. "If you fail this, ten years from now, you'll look back, thinking what might have been if you just continued your career and turned down this offer instead."

"But what if I succeeded?"

He didn't answer me then. He just looked at me and sighed. I watch him walk over to a cabinet and pull out a bunch of envelopes. In one of them, he took out a passport and handed it to me.

"You're an adult now. And you're not really entitled to help us financially, but watching you as you grow, I know a time will come when you'll help us anyway, even if we don't ask you for it."

I burst out crying then and promised myself that I'll do everything in my power to make this a success. Later on that night, I tried to absorb that I'm really going to Seoul within three weeks and I wondered, 'How did I get in this situation anyway?'