When She Became A Pledis Trainee

CHAPTER 9: OCTOBER 23RD

_________________________________________________________
This is a work of Fiction. Names, characters, places and incidences are either products of the author's imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.

Please refrain from reproduction, transmission, or storing in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the author. Thank you, and enjoy!!

_________________________________________________________

"Annyeonghaseyo, May imnida.", I said to my camera for the fifth time that night. I was in the dance room again and only half an hour remains before the gymnasium closes up. I've recorded four auditions in the past hour but something just goes wrong along the middle and I had to do it all over again. I was shooting a fourteen-minute video composed of an introduction, an acapella English song, a Tagalog rap, and Korean song, a boy group dance, a girl group dance, and an acknowledgement message. I decided to show two genres of dance to: one, challenge myself, and two, to show them that I can do both styles. The video might have been long, but at least they'll remember me being the annoying Filipina with the 14-minute long audition piece. 'Luckily', I thought to myself, 'they don't require you to post your video on youtube and send them the link.' It would be very bad if my friends and family found out about this.

I introduced myself once more, frustrated and tired from practicing and repeating my piece four times already. My voice is getting tired as well, and I don't have much time left. 'Just do it properly. This should be the last shot.' I tell myself.

I introduced my first song, Rise Up, and sang until the first chorus. I introduced my choice of Tagalog rap, explaining how I think one must understand the rap in order to execute it properly, and how I wouldn't want to risk doing a Korean rap (though I do know a few), in fear of saying the wrong words. Then I sang Beautiful Tomorrow by Park Hyo Shin because I've seen Seungkwan sing it as a cover. I loved it and understood it well. After that, I danced short bit of original dance I made for Park Jimin's Serendipity because I thought on the last minute that I might as well show them something original. I danced my two final dance choices and went back to my camera heaving. I saw that there is still a minute left.

"Thank for watching! And since 14 is my favorite number, this will be a 14-minute video. Thank you PLɛDIS, for giving dreamers like me an opportunity, and more power on all of your artists. I wish you well on all of your future endeavors. Thanks again and have a good day!" I did a small wave then stopped recording. I swiftly grabbed my things and walked out immediately. I selected some of my photos and attached them to the email. I uploaded the video and shared them the link. I sent them my audition piece through their email, all in ten minutes, because I didn't want to hold myself back and end up not doing it because of cowardice. After I sent it, I deleted the video so I wouldn't have to watch it. Knowing me, I'll probably watch it, see the flaws and worry over it and my reputation. There, 'Out of sight, out of mind'. The result usually takes months, and those who were not chosen are never notified. So I'll just forget I auditioned, because I'll never get accepted anyway. I'll forget that I auditioned so I won't be waiting for a reply that will never come.

At least I did what the artist in me wanted to do. That night, I learned that there seems like two persons living inside of me. The one whose vision is glued on the future my parents wanted me to have: a stable job so I can lift us out of poverty; the one who spends her life excelling academically. And the other one was forgotten and drowned, but is now floating on the surface: the one who wanted to create. I need the former, but the latter is burning through, from an ember into a flicker of a flame.