Emma: Seventh Grade

Chapter 31: Back to School

"Finally! You're back!" Lizzie exclaimed, clapping her hands with delight as Emma sat beside her on the bus, carefully placing her backpack by her feet. "I missed my bestie!" She proceeded to tightly embrace Emma, holding her close as if she was afraid to lose her again.

"I missed you too, Lizzie," Emma replied, returning the hug. It was her first day back from school after her serious suicide attempt that had landed her in the hospital, and she was extremely anxious about it. "Did I miss a lot of homework when I was gone?" she asked when Lizzie finally let her go.

"Let's see," Lizzie ran her hands through her bright blue hair. "A couple math quizzes, which I failed because my bestie wasn't there to help me," she added, giving Emma a look. "I think maybe a history test...an English paper....but I don't know about the rest."

Emma sighed as an overwhelming anxiety flooded over her. After spending almost a week in the hospital and over two weeks in the psych ward, she had a lot of catching up to do with her school work. How was she ever going to finish it all? Her heart started pounding just thinking about it.

As Lizzie babbled relentlessly on about how stressful math class was for her without Emma's presence, Emma reached into the front pocket of her backpack and pulled out a small, prescription pill bottle. It was the Ativan that Dr. Sanchez prescribed her when she was in the psych ward, and she was supposed to take it every six hours as needed for anxiety. Unscrewing the cap, she dumped one of the small, white pills in her hand, and popped it into her mouth. After putting the pill bottle back into her backpack, Emma swallowed a couple mouthfuls of water from her water bottle in order to wash the pill down.

"What was that you just took?" Lizzie asked loudly, leaning close to Emma.

"My Ativan," Emma answered discreetly. "It's supposed to help with my anxiety."

"Hey, I take Ativan too!" Lizzie exclaimed. "So if I ever need one, I can just come to you!"

"Yeah, maybe," Emma mumbled a reply. She had no intentions of sharing her medication with Lizzie, however. If she even gave her one pill, Lizzie would continue to ask for more, and it would continue to escalate from there. Emma knew how Lizzie worked. She loved to push her boundaries and see just how far she could go. And the funny thing was, Lizzie would never return a favor, no matter how much Emma did for her. Their relationship was very one-sided, and Emma sometimes wondered if Lizzie only kept her around for her own advantage.

The bus squealed to a halt in front of the school, and Emma carefully made her way through the crowd off the bus, with Lizzie right behind her. The December morning air was chilly and the gray, dreary clouds in the sky threatened to drop snow on them at any moment. Shivering, Emma pulled her winter coat closer around her face and picked up her pace towards the building, eager to get inside where it was warm.

Once inside, the girls parted ways to go to their lockers. "I'll come get you in time for math class!" Lizzie shouted as she walked away.

Glancing nervously around her, Emma headed towards her locker. She could tell that some of her classmates hated her, as they gave her demeaning looks as she walked by. Casting her eyes towards the ground, Emma quickened her walk. She knew she had done many embarrassing things in school that would be imprinted in her their memories forever, and for that reason, she felt sad. She would never have very many friends here, and the majority of the school viewed her as a pathetic loser.

Wiping a tear from her eye, Emma took off her backpack and set it down on the ground. Opening up her locker, she took off her winter coat, revealing a navy blue, zip-up Victoria's Secret sweatshirt that was unzipped just enough to show a low cut, lacy, white tank top underneath. The skinny jeans she had on with her outfit had holes in the thighs, and with them she wore tan Ugg boots.