Emma: Seventh Grade

Chapter 44: Nutrition

When Emma opened her eyes, she found herself lying on the floor in the hallway, with a hospital blanket draped around her. How did she get here? She thought back to the last thing she remembered, which was the night nurse giving her an Ativan pill. Emma remembered swallowing it, then growing very sleepy a short time after. She had been pacing the halls like a zombie in an effort to stay awake, until she finally collapsed in exhaustion.

Emma had not eaten much of her supper last night. It was tuna noodle casserole and chips, both of which tasted nasty. The casserole was too cold and slimy as it slid down her throat, and the chips were too salty. Melissa had threatened to put in the feeding tube if Emma didn't finish her plate, but in spite of that, Emma was able to eat only a few bites before her stomach started hurting terribly. Fear gripped her heart as she recalled these events, as she was afraid that Melissa would actually keep her promise and stick a tube down her nose.

Closing her eyes again, Emma pretended to be asleep. She did not want the new day to start. Her stomach was already cramping up from the building anxiety in her mind. What was going to happen to her today? Would she get a feeding tube as a punishment for not eating? Would she have another severe panic attack in public? How many little things would cry over today? What did the nurses think of her when they found her sleeping in the hall?

Just then, Emma heard footsteps. They started off down the hall, then came closer and closer until they stopped right in front of her face. Emma squeezed her eyes closed even tighter, expecting the worst.

"Emma," Melissa's voice sounded. "Time to wake up."

Emma was surprised. She thought for sure that Melissa was going to put a feeding tube in her right then and there. Opening her eyes, she slowly lifted her head and looked around, with her disheveled, blonde hair falling around her sunken cheeks. Melissa was squatted down next to her, looking at her nonchalantly.

"Good morning," Melissa greeted Emma in a kind voice. "How did you sleep last night?"

"Okay, I guess," Emma answered, her voice raspy with sleep. She realized then that she had no nightmares last night. None that she could remember at least. Stretching her thin body briefly, she slowly untangled herself with the blanket and sat up on the ground. Her sweatshirt was gone; she must have taken it off last night to help keep herself awake. Her maroon scrubs were very wrinkled and the bandages on her forearms were starting to come loose.

Melissa took some medical tape out of her pocket. "Let's fix those bandages for you," she said, ripping a piece off and securing the gauze snugly while Emma held out her right arm. Then, she did the same to Emma's left arm.

Emma winced as Melissa fixed her bandages. Her self-inflicted cuts were still pretty tender, even though they were in the process of healing. When Melissa was done, Emma stood up and stretched. Her pants fell to the floor in the process, but Melissa quickly grabbed them and pulled them back up.

"Let's go to your room, Emma," Melissa stated, placing a hand on Emma's upper back and nudging her in the direction of her room. 

Emma walked to her room without question, holding up her pants the entire time. What she saw next made her heart leap out of her chest in panic. On her bedside table were all the supplies needed to place a feeding tube, including a can of the sticky, icky liquid that was about to be forced down into her stomach. An IV pole with a feeding pump attached to it sat in the corner of her room, waiting to be used.

"Remember what we talked about yesterday?" Melissa said in a gentle but stern voice. "I'm going to have to put that feeding tube in now."

"No! No! No! No! No!" Emma cried as tears ran down her cheeks. "Please don't do it! I'm sorry I didn't eat my food! I promise I'll do better next time!" she wailed.