Defixio

Introduction

Enter Zeus: King of the gods, major screwup, who exhibits all kinds of horrible, selfish behavior. 

Enter Hera: Queen of the gods, the template of a shrew, who blames mortal/immortal women for her husband's sexual misbehavior and exhibits all kinds of vengeful, selfish behavior.

Our story begins when Zeus decides that he wants a little more fun in life (because having sexual relations with only Hera--and fifty other objects-- was getting rather boring). The way he decided to have fun, though, was rather a stupid move for a King. He decided to go out to the nearest city next to Olympus, grab any random girl, and have sex. He'd done the nasty in so many ways that he had lost count (golden shower, goose, a ball of light-- need I continue?) So he went out and did just that.

Unluckily for our "hero," Hera was watching from Mt. Olympus. She had given him so many chances to prove that he was capable of fidelity, and then he goes and cheats on her, in front of her. . . again! So like every good Goddess of Marriage, she goes out to the poor girl and strikes up a conversation. But, after further inspection of the girl (poor thing), she got even more pissed off by her rival's hotness and did what every vengeful queen does to the person/victim who had no choice or consent: she turned the maiden into a snake and began screaming, "Now you can go and have as much sex as you like up on that mountain!" And kicked the snake, sending it hundreds of yards away. (It's not like Hera knew that a certain man by the name of Tiresias would most likely kill the girl.)

High on the adrenaline produced by the anger of a scorned woman, Hera went back to the palace invisible to mortals. "Zeus," she yelled into the corridor, "that little hussy is gone! Come out here and explain yourself!" She could hear hesitant scampering footsteps before a servant came out stammering,

"So sorry, but the King is feeling rather ill. . ."

Hera pushed past him to continue down the hallway where she just knew her awful-cheating husband was hiding. "Open up this door, you dick," she shouted.

"Zeus isn't here right now.  Now, go away!" a very fake, high-pitched voice rang, making Hera huff. 

"Zeus- that is obviously you, open up!"

"No," came the voice through the door. Hera didn't listen at all and pushed open the door to see her husband's form, hiding very obviously behind the curtain. 

"Get out here and tell me-" There was an interruption. 

Hera looked up and saw the shaking servant, "Pardon me, Your Greatnesses, but there is a visitor here to see the King and Queen."  

Hera sighed, "Can it wait?" Then she stepped into the room. "Well, I guess it can't," Hera sighed again looking at Hecate. "Hello, Hecate, why, may I ask, do you grace us with your presence?" 

The goddess of witchcraft just laughed into Hera's face. "Karma is truly amazing," was all she said as she handed over a piece of folded metal with multiple holes in it. "It's for you and the Mister-- enjoy your curse," Hecate added before snapping her fingers just as Hera and Zeus were sucked into the Space-Time Continuum.