Defixio

Zeus Vs Hunk-O-Mania

Previously on Zeus Vs Dying in LA

Zeus had to face it: his dream of fame was dying in the LA sun and smog, and he could do nothing about it. He had nothing at all to do other than sit and think about what he messed up and what he should have done differently.

What also seemed to fill his mind was the fact that there were so many people who lived without fame and money. If a king could fall this low, then maybe some of his followers had been kings before him only to be knocked off their high perch.

His dream of easy fame was dying in LA, but his mind was beginning to thrive.

Now:

Since Zeus' brain had begun to think beyond Tinseltown trappings, he realized that this world was going to eat him alive if he did nothing about his current state of homelessness. His eyes caught a book in a storefront titled Failure: A Survival Guide on how to Become Famous, and it caught Zeus' eye instantly. He memorized the title and left in order to go to a local Starbucks (not for the water and seed coffee but for the Wi-Fi). Once he got there, he looked up what the book was about and discovered it was a self-help book that was trying to convince people that failure leads to success by outlining the writer's own journey of creating a multi-million dollar company.

So that is how Zeus got the idea of becoming, wait for it, an author. That's right, Zeus thinks that he has the ability to write a book over his failures in life and how they led him to succeed in becoming a famous social influencer. 

The only problems were that Zeus was homeless, owed the bank money, and had no way of writing this book. 

This forced him to admit to himself that he needed to get a job, so Zeus went to this magical thing called Craigslist and he looked up jobs close by. The first workers wanted ad that came up was for some restaurant called Hunk-O-Mania. He applied instantly (mainly because he was obviously a hunk and attractive, even though he had not showered yet or discovered the beauty of deodorant). After about an hour, he got a reply that said that he was hired and to report to the strip club at 5 o'clock today for the basic job run down.

Around 4:45, Zeus got to the club and met the manager, who seemed to examine his whole body and motioned for some other people to take Zeus and "clean him up so he'll be pretty for the ladies." He was told to shower and shave, and then he was ushered into a beautician's chair where he was slathered with different creams and foundations and given a hair cut. While all this was happening, Zeus was being given a rundown on how everything worked, what certain things were, and what his job was. (At first, he was just passing out drinks costumed in a very tight speedo.) Zeus went along with everything, and by the time the club was about to open, he felt very prepared for what this new job entailed. 

The first night was odd; Zeus was not used to being the object of this type of attention, well, he was used to giving it. The men and women there treated him like an object; they stuffed his only article of clothing with singles and their eyes seemed to be on his body at all times. It was absolutely different, and, initially, Zeus did not really mind the new kind of attention that he was getting.

But then he had to go through it every night, over and over again, and he slowly grew less and less excited to go out and give people drinks. The other men had similar feelings too; Zeus knew of their grumblings, but in this world, it was survival of the fittest and he could not trust anyone. 

The only thing that kept him going was a single thought that this was giving him a life to write about in a book about failures in order to make him famous. He had to become famous because when he gets famous, he will not have to deal with any of this stuff anymore. (Nope, his past as a stripper totally will not come up when people do background checks or anything like that.)

Everything was growing so exhausting that Zeus could not keep up; he was suffering, even his mental state had deteriorated. He stopped eating, he began to work out all the time, and eventually, he realized a very real human fact.

It only took him a couple of hundred years and a time skip, but he realized how he treated Hera, what he put every woman through when his thoughtlessness made them look down on themselves and made them think/feel as if they were nothing but objects.

He had forced Hera to marry him with fake promises.

He had forced himself on so many women, and he could not count how many (although he had never had the thought to count them before).

He had done so many demeaning things, things that were now being done to him.

And for the first time in his life, Zeus felt ashamed. He felt ashamed for what he had done and what thoughts filled his head, he felt ashamed for thinking that this business would not take anything out of him, and he was ashamed for who he had become. 

Well, he should have figured this whole thing out years and years ago, but better late than never right? Now, the truly depressing thing is that Zeus did not know how to fix this problem. He was nicer to clients (well, his version of nicer), and he began to write this book in his head.

~-^-~

The Olympians were going crazy. 

Not only were a bunch of bets falling through, but the person who ended up with the most cash was neither Apollo nor Posideon--it was Persephone.

All the gods were pissed. Zeus had done a ninety-degree turn in personality (not a 180 because Zeus was still a prick), but it was not just Zeus, Hera had also been doing lots of thinking and was trying to change her life for the better.

It took Zeus becoming a stripper, and it took Hera becoming friends with a fellow woman who would change her world.