youth

forty ; real life

it has been two weeks since mabel took a train down to dan. she has been the happiest she's ever been for a while. her friend had recently been non-stop texting her, asking where she is. mabel, of course, always replied with im fine, im in london ill be home soon and today is that soon. dan's arms are around her waist, but she manages to squeeze her way out of his muscular grasp. her mumbled words come out in a whipser as she grabs her bags and furiously packs them. she doesn't want to leave dan, of course she doesn't.

"are you okay mabel?" dan's raspy morning voice calls towars her. mabel holds back tears as she turns around. dan can tell she's trying not to cry. her eyes are glossy and her face is turning a pale red. dan rushes over to her side, hushed tones in her ear. mabel pushes away from dan, the tears flowing from her eyes at this point. she narrows them slightly and taps her heels together slowly.

"dan, i," mabel sighs, looking into his eyes, "i have to go. i want to stay but i feel like im just pulling you down with me. i don't want that" she huffs in anger at herself. curse words slip from her throat as she begins to pace. dan firmly grasps her waist and spins mabel to face him. a sympathetic smile is plastered on his face nervously. "i'm not angry at you mabel. i love you to pieces and if you want to leave, thats okay. just promise me you'll text me."

"i promise. i love you too dan"

dan sits on the end of his monochrome bed and watches as she unhappily packs away all her items, which isn't many. dan demands she keeps the clothes they bought together at his and he gives her one of his jumpers. "this is my favourite jumper, for my favourite person." he smiles softly as she hugs him.

dan and mabel are sitting on the metallic bench at the train stattion. mabel's legs are shaking out of anxiety and her hands are sweating in the palms of dan's. she insists that dan doesnt have to hold her hands, she doesnt want to make them all clammy, but he refuses to let go. the thoughts running through mabels head are numbing, and there is no emotion surging around her face. the oncoming lights blink into her view and a sigh escapes dan's lips.

they stand centered at the station as the train pulls in. dan looks at her with murky eyes and presses a safe kiss to her lips. "i love you"

mabel walks away from him and gets on the train. her eyes rest on his face as she looks back to wave at him. dan is wiping tears from his face, afraid she'll never come back to him. he wants to run onto the train and take her back to his room; he wants to kiss her all over, tell her she's beautiful. but he can't, it's too late. the train is falling out of his view and soon his feet are carrying his limp body away.

mabel can still taste dan on her lips, she hopes it will never fade. he tastes of peaches and cream. mabel just wants to run back to dan and tell him she wants to stay with him forever. but she can't, it's too late. she digs her nails into the soft palms of her hands. bruises cover the insides of her arms and blood surfaces from her palms. she was angry at herself. mabel didn't want to leave dan, of course she didn't. she chose to leave him because she will end up ruining dan's life. she hasn't broken up with him, that would be too drastic for her. she is sure to text dan. positive.

mabel is back at her apartment for the first time and all the horrid memories are back to her mind. she wasn't sure as to why she hadn't moved out of this crappy home, restart her life. maybe it was a good idea?

mabel has a rough history, a tough past life she chooses to put in a box and forget most of the time. the apartment she lives in brings those memories to the surface and she hates it. when she'll dan, she isn't so sure. mabel was in an abusive relationship for a few years, it started in college and ended over a year and a half ago. there isn't much to say, it was a typical abusive relationship but it still hurt her in the present.

mabel didn't choose to text dan anything that night. she just went to sleep and forgot about the world for a moment.

sorry this took so long to publish
hhhhh
it'll be back to texting now for a while so updates will be frequent (and especially since I'm starting school again now it's January)

also sort of want to write a brendon urie fanfic but not too sure (: