youth

forty five ; real life

I've stated this in a previous chapter and I don't frequently do perspectives as I prefer to narrate in third person but I think this chapter deserves it.

>mabel's perspective<

sitting on a train to an empty apartment i had just bought is not what past me would have probably had in mind. the decision to move was difficult to make because i was leaving everything behind. but at the same time, it was easy because i knew i needed to escape my past. the cold air in the train was sinking into my skin, the goose-bumps rising. my hair was slicked back into a messy ponytail, hairs fallen from it. i don't know why i was so anxious about moving. it was probably down to the fact that i disliked change. 

arriving at the apartment complex felt strangely comforting. i was trying to decide if it was being i never had to face my past again or because dan and phil lived there with me? either way, it felt nice. the glass door held a few smudged handprints and it was rather heavy. i lugged my suitcase full of the only clothes i owned. the only item of gucci i owned, also known as the bag on my back, held all my other items such as make-up and face care and toothbrush/toothpaste. the staircase up was literal hell. i had no clue why they always chose to live in a complex with hundreds of stairs. i knew that this was something i was going to complain about a lot. 

i had a bundle of ikea furniture piled up outside the door and i was surprised no one had touched it. i just sort of left it there so i could sit down on the little furniture there was left in there. i slung my shoes down onto the landing by the door and hung my bag up on the conveniently placed pegs whilst leaving my suitcase below them, much like dan and phil's home.  i took a seat on the comfy sofa and relaxed. my back was sore from sitting on a train for two hours straight and my legs were tired.

i eventually fell asleep in the awkward position i was sat in.

--

my body shot up from the slouched place in the sofa. i was rudely awoken from my beauty nap by banging at the door. i should've at least expected someone to come over. walking over to the door was a chore and even harder whilst taking my matted hair out of the hairband. opening the door, dan and phil stood with smiley faces. "hi!" dan waved without realising who was actually in front of him. phil elbowed him in the side, bringing his attention to reality. "what was that-" he meets my eyes and a nervous look is emitted.

"hey dan and phil, how are you?" i tried to make this as normal as possible, "i must have dozed off considering i've been here for a few hours and and my furniture is still outside. come in though, make yourself at home." i welcomed the two boys in, but only phil entered. he lightly pinched my arm and walked off to somewhere - i had no idea where though. "so um..." i stared into his eyes, his damn eyes.

dan instantly took steps forward and crashed his lips into mine. he was hungrily kissing me. i had my hands on his chest, telling him i wanted to talk. but this only made him pull me closer to his body. "dan," i spoke into the kiss, "can w-we talk?" i guess it must have made him anxious when i said that as he pulled away suddenly. his hands still rested on my hips and we were still very close together. "so, first of all, hello. and wow"

"hi, mabel. i've missed you" he smiled at me cheekily. he knew that he was an ass when he wanted to be. we stood in each others body warmth and spoke, caught up on everything. i remembered that i promised myself not to hurt dan and ruin his life, but i knew that it was going to go out the window.

dan and phil had both kindly offered to help build furniture with me. i declined profusely but dan insisted they both helped. phil and i were sat on the carpet flooring in my soon-to-be living room, building pieces of furniture. dan was stood up attempting to put brackets in the wall for my television. "love do you need some help?" i cooed over at dan, who was struggling to hold the bracket in place. he sighed in defeat, looking over at me and nodding. i stood between dan's muscular arms and held the bracket in place whilst he drilled it into the wall. it made me laugh because he couldn't do such a simple task, but it made me love his dorky self even more. i turned to see dan looking directly at me and conveniently i was pinned against the wall. "dan, phil is in here too..." i whispered with a tinge of embarrassment. dan didn't flinch at the thought of phil watching us kiss. dan knew i was going to attempt to escape him, so he pressed his body weight against mine, pinning me against the white wall. his lips brushed against mine teasingly. i looked into his glossy brown eyes and sighed against his face. "can we at least do this in my room dan, i don't want phil watching, please" i was begging him at this point. i loved phil platonically and i didn't want him to watch us kiss passionately.

"fine."