I'm Waiting, Hyung.

Chapter 12: I knew it...

V POV

What the hell was that!?... did I really just stutter and fucking blush in front of him! STUPID! you look like those anime girls who sees their senpai! unfucking believable!...

I wash my face in the bathroom and look at my reflection. My cheeks were still red because of the feeling of his hands on my forehead. Get it together, He was just worried... Nothing more, nothing less. He sees you as a little brother...and you already knew that, didn't you?. 

I began wiping my face with my sleeves, left the bathroom and made my way to Starbucks. I covered myself before entering, so I wouldn't cause any ruckus, besides I didn't need that right now after everything that happened. Now I'm worried about Jungkook...

I find myself waiting in the line as I slowly remember everything that happened. 

" Dude, quit it bruh!" I look to my right to see two boys standing by the trash can, they seem like about 18 years old and look like good friends, as one of them tries to hug each other, but it seem like the other dude was embarrassed, so he continues to push him away, the other guy didn't give up and both kept laughing . 

Funny...it's like my feelings for Jin Hyung. I'm trying to get as close to him as possible, but something is always pushing me away from him...

"Sir your order, please" Fucking always...

I held onto my milk, and coffee for Jin Hyung and Jungkook. I hope Jungkook is okay now, But before I could grab on the doorknob, my eyes widen to see something I feared the most.

" I love you, Hyung... I've always had" He was hugging Jungkook...He was hugging him like a couple.. I could see how touchy it was and how close they were..  then..

" I love you too, Jungkook..." Suddenly the heart that I have been holding onto, fixing, curing, saving fell right to the floor as it shatter itself into millions of pieces. I felt pain.

I quickly turned away from the scene and stood behind the room where the person that I love was with my best friend... hugging, probably doing something more. This can't be happening.. this..no. Tears poured out of my eyes in an instant, quicker than how I moved away from the scene, I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop it from flowing down my cheeks. It was impossible.

I set the drinks down, and went straight to the bathroom, avoiding any eye contact from anyone... avoiding the whole world. 

I went straight to the sink and instantly saw how puffy my eyes were, and my hands were violently shaking. No, stop V...stop it V! Don't cry, please don't cry...You knew it, you knew it! Why the hell are you crying!!.

No matter how many times I told myself to stop crying, it wouldn't stop, I couldn't...before I knew it I began sobbing loudly, alone inside the bathroom, as I cry in agony, thankful that no one could see me, but right now I was wishing for one of my members to be with me, to feel that I wasn't empty. That I wasn't alone. 

My heart continue to ache, ache in the most terrible way. I never knew that having a heart could hurt this much. If I had a choice of not having one , I would, but If I needed a heart to love Jin Hyung, then I rather be dead. 

I knew it...but it still hurts so much...I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. I wanted to believe those words, I really do...but right now...    

I want to die.